Family Issues

[c12]

I am currently dating a girl with BPD and she has written off my family and all i want is for everyone to get along. She shuts down and gets angry even talking about my mom and I am no longer speaking to my mom because every time I do my girlfriend gets extremely mad. My mom is just being protective of me but i feel trapped in this situation. need help

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pursuingJoy]

hi c12! 

How long have you been dating?

I understand a bit of what you're going through, though roles are flipped. My MIL has BPD and for a host of reasons, I don't interact with her anymore. My H felt trapped between his mother and me. The most helpful thing for my H and I to read and understand was the Karpman triangle. Check out this article and let me know what role you think you, your mom and gf are playing:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle

From your perspective, you might say you are the victim, your mom is rescuer, and gf is persecutor? Gf might say that she is victim, mom is persecutor, and you are rescuer? At different times, can you see yourself playing both roles?

Based on the role you think you're playing, what can you do to help yourself get off the triangle?