What's the longest you've heard of supervised visitation?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

In my divorce with an uBPDw it has been a year since I have been with my kids without supervision.  After she made some false CPS charges, she unilaterally would not let me see my kids while they were instigating.  Later when the determined I was indicated, she said that I won't be seeing them again.  I went 80 days where I was not allowed to see my kids.  The GAL got involved and for three and a half months I was supervised in public places with my kids.  There were no incidents.  I never came to visitation drunk or high and I never was inappropriate with my kids in any way.  Then I was giving more time at my place with the kids but it still needed to be supervised.  The GAL relaxed some on the supervision.  It didn't have to be a typical qualified supervisor, but the GAL wanted someone with me.  That has been going on for 25 weeks.  Again, no incidents on me have been reported that would indicate the kids are in any harm.  There has been a status hearing set in 9 weeks, so it's 9 more weeks of this supervision routine.  This just seems excessive.  Like the GAL and court is not doing their job.  I have no idea what it takes to remove the supervision.  I just know my wife fights like hell to keep me supervised.  She keeps shouting stories that I'm abusive.  I've dealt with several CPS investigations that have come back unfounded.

[Wilkinson]

In my divorce with an uBPDw it has been a year since I have been with my kids without supervision.  After she made some false CPS charges, she unilaterally would not let me see my kids while they were instigating.  Later when the determined I was indicated, she said that I won't be seeing them again.  I went 80 days where I was not allowed to see my kids.  The GAL got involved and for three and a half months I was supervised in public places with my kids.  There were no incidents.  I never came to visitation drunk or high and I never was inappropriate with my kids in any way.  Then I was giving more time at my place with the kids but it still needed to be supervised.  The GAL relaxed some on the supervision.  It didn't have to be a typical qualified supervisor, but the GAL wanted someone with me.  That has been going on for 25 weeks.  Again, no incidents on me have been reported that would indicate the kids are in any harm.  There has been a status hearing set in 9 weeks, so it's 9 more weeks of this supervision routine.  This just seems excessive.  Like the GAL and court is not doing their job.  I have no idea what it takes to remove the supervision.  I just know my wife fights like hell to keep me supervised.  She keeps shouting stories that I'm abusive.  I've dealt with several CPS investigations that have come back unfounded.

[worriedStepmom]

My friend's NPDex was told he'd only have supervised visitation until the kids turn 18 (7 years).  In their case, there were no CPS complaints, but 3 mental health professionals testified that he had NPD and/or was causing the children severe mental distress.

The GAL puts a huge weight on what the therapists say, and if I'm remembering correctly, your kids' therapist believes your ex.

[Wilkinson]

I'm F*#ed

Why are there so many incompetent therapists out there that seem to think they know about parental alienation when they don't.  When you read the literature, books, and listen to experts they all cite a lack of knowledge in their own profession and the damage it causes.

[mart555]

My friend's NPDex was told he'd only have supervised visitation until the kids turn 18 (7 years).  In their case, there were no CPS complaints, but 3 mental health professionals testified that he had NPD and/or was causing the children severe mental distress.

Until 18?  Once the kids turn 16 or something like that, aren't they considered old enough?  There's only so much distress he can cause when kids are old, no? Unless he could turn violent?     Was that father always "that bad" or it went downhill post divorce with the narcissistic injury and whatnot?

[worriedStepmom]

Until 18?  Once the kids turn 16 or something like that, aren't they considered old enough?  There's only so much distress he can cause when kids are old, no? Unless he could turn violent?     Was that father always "that bad" or it went downhill post divorce with the narcissistic injury and whatnot?

The dad was always pretty bad, but he wasn't that interested in the kids when he was married and mom was able to protect them.  After the divorce he painted mom black and his entire goal in life is to make the kids hate her.  Judge said dad is so manipulative that it would not be good for the kids - even at 16 or 17 - to be unsupervised with dad.

[Wilkinson]

The dad was always pretty bad, but he wasn't that interested in the kids when he was married and mom was able to protect them.  After the divorce he painted mom black and his entire goal in life is to make the kids hate her.  Judge said dad is so manipulative that it would not be good for the kids - even at 16 or 17 - to be unsupervised with dad.

So what does that mean for me?  So far the only thing against me is a CPS indicated charge from a year ago.  My supervision has had no bad reports, my court assigned counselor has told the court I'm good to be around my kids or at least go into counseling with them.  Sounds like this guy really should have been supervised.

I will say, I believe that the court feels the supervision is to protect me from my kids (accusations) and not the kids from me.  Still, it's very frustrating, heart breaking, and expensive.

[worriedStepmom]

My friend's kids have to go to a reunification specialist to even have the chance to have the supervised visits with dad.  (In their case, reunification specialist, kids' counselor, and court-appointed evaluator of dad all agreed he shouldn't be unsupervised with the kids.)

I wonder if that's a type of professional that would hep you.  So that you could rebuild your relationship with them after mom's poison.