Good News?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I met with my lawyer today, turns out he'd received money from the FIL. dp that was good.

Other things that were good:

1) I told him that I'd had it with these people & I wanted out. So he will put together an offer & I'll take a look at it. Probably I will tell him not to send it because: FIL said he wouldn't settle for a penny above the prenup figure. Plus he wants me to pay my own legal fees. That's going to be a problem. But I still feel pretty good, semi-hopeful because:

2) We are supposed to meet next week so the judge can make a decision on this summary judgment my STBX filed. My L said they are so unusual in family law that he would be amazed if it were awarded.

3) He then said, however, the issue of the prenup (I've raised concerns about it) is that it was signed 12 years ago & it's hard to get evidence for what happened. I asked him what would constitute evidence. He said emails. Bingo, I have emails.

4) He also told me that there was something nefarious going on regarding the change of trusts (married under one trust & now it's changed and includes the home as STBX's separate property.) And he intended to bring that up next week. My first L never thought it was important.

5) He's not afraid to litigate. That said, he did tell me it is almost always better to settle.

So we'll see. This is the first time since all this began 3 years ago that I have felt even semi-hopeful.

TMD

[toomanydogs]

I met with my lawyer today, turns out he'd received money from the FIL. dp that was good.

Other things that were good:

1) I told him that I'd had it with these people & I wanted out. So he will put together an offer & I'll take a look at it. Probably I will tell him not to send it because: FIL said he wouldn't settle for a penny above the prenup figure. Plus he wants me to pay my own legal fees. That's going to be a problem. But I still feel pretty good, semi-hopeful because:

2) We are supposed to meet next week so the judge can make a decision on this summary judgment my STBX filed. My L said they are so unusual in family law that he would be amazed if it were awarded.

3) He then said, however, the issue of the prenup (I've raised concerns about it) is that it was signed 12 years ago & it's hard to get evidence for what happened. I asked him what would constitute evidence. He said emails. Bingo, I have emails.

4) He also told me that there was something nefarious going on regarding the change of trusts (married under one trust & now it's changed and includes the home as STBX's separate property.) And he intended to bring that up next week. My first L never thought it was important.

5) He's not afraid to litigate. That said, he did tell me it is almost always better to settle.

So we'll see. This is the first time since all this began 3 years ago that I have felt even semi-hopeful.

TMD

[worriedStepmom]

I'm so glad you're finally feeling more hopeful.  I'll keep my fingers crossed.

[MeandThee29]

Yes, I was thinking that your appointment was coming up.

Sounds like you have the right lawyer. A good one makes all the difference. 

[formflier]

I met with my lawyer today, turns out he'd received money from the FIL. dp that was good.
 

So...this lawyer gets money and two prior ones quit because of not getting money..right?

Why do you think this one got money?

Why does the lawyer think he got money and the others didn't?

Be aware, many people like FIL have a "wear them down" legal strategy and it appears to be working with you.  You just want to be done...(understandably)

I would recommend you sit on settlement offer for a while.  Let this L look at all evidence you have and then listen to his thoughts. 

Best,

FF

[toomanydogs]

Good morning FF,
  I'm embedding my answers in bold.

So...this lawyer gets money and two prior ones quit because of not getting money..right? This is true.

Why do you think this one got money? I don't know. One thing that bothered me (and I'm really short on trust re: lawyers these days) is that he didn't tell me he'd been paid, and I set up borrowing money from friends just so I could talk to him prior to going into the hearing, which is now 2 days away.

Why does the lawyer think he got money and the others didn't? I didn't ask him. I have a few guesses.

Be aware, many people like FIL have a "wear them down" legal strategy and it appears to be working with you.  You just want to be done...(understandably) I have really been thinking about this. First, I think the FIL will take the offer as indication of my weakness & his success in "wearing me down." What I did not tell my L is that the offer would have to be met line-by-line. No negotiation on it. And I know my FIL, and I know (or at least suspect) he will attempt one more low-ball or unreasonable offer, which I will reject, and to which I will offer no counter-offer, and time will have run out & we'll be heading into that hearing (telephonic due to COVID-19). If the judge enforces the prenup, the divorce will essentially be over. If the judge rejects the prenup (a distinct possibility, we head to trial, meaning I'm in this for at least another 6 months.) And you are right about the wear-them-down strategy, and something needs to be put into the marital settlement that will prohibit the FIL from suing me, or if that's not possible, then litigation must be under the jurisdiction of my state. FIL reminds me of an angry bull snake & the only way to keep one of those from continuing to attack is to cut off its head. Or shoot it. In other words, in this case, for a human by completely disempowering legal remedies.

I would recommend you sit on settlement offer for a while.  Let this L look at all evidence you have and then listen to his thoughts.  Yes. Listening to any lawyer these days is hard for me. I've been burned on 4 previous lawyers, 5 if you include the one who represented me in the prenup, and I've ended up believing that lawyers represent the rich much more vigorously than they do those of more limited means. Thank you for your response. As always, it is insightful and helps me slow down, dig in, and find that grit that has sustained me these past 3 years.

Best,

FF

Thank you!  
TMD