My 41 yr old BPD daughter wants to die.

[Sarahsdad]

My daughter is diagnosed with multiple co-morbidities.  She has attempted suicide once and was placed on a 72 hr hold.  He has a good therapist but an hour a week is not enough.  She had been to DBT 3 times.  She lives with me and has little outside contact. She won’t go to a mental health support group.  He splits all the time with me being her saving grace or the villain. She says the only reason she lives is for me but wants to die rather than face the life she has been dealt.i don’t know what to do .  She feels I am self entered, controlling, and unwilling to change to meet what she says are our relationship ship problems. I have made a self commitment to be there for her yet I am exasperated.  Help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[srivili]

This is so hard. Its a huge responsibility for anyone to be responsible for someone else's life. Unless they are babies, no one can be responsible for another adults actions, behavior and feelings. I told my daughter 'she has to live for herself first and foremost'.
We are only responsible for ourselves. Please do not feel guilty, just because we brought them into the world, does not mean we are hostages to their emotions for life. No one is a perfect parent. We are all good parents who did our best with what we knew at that time. No need to be hard on yourself.
I am reading and re reading the book 'stop caretaking the borderline/NP' and also in therapy.
Please give take care of yourself, which should be a priority. Self care is not selfish.