robinsegg
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married
Posts: 1
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« on: September 28, 2020, 08:08:15 AM » |
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First time posting.
Hoping to hear from you who have an adult child with BPD, and especially if they "successfully," completed college and weathered BPD-type setbacks while in school.
My daughter is 17 and a senior in high school. She meets the criteria for BPD. Her psychiatrist was careful not to "label," her, yet I appreciate when she said, "I want you to read some information about BPD, and tell me what you think." I think - it was a kind way to start me towards getting educated on what was happening with my daughter..,and that was 9th grade. She self-harmed, was suicidal and would have profound bouts of depression. She wouldn't sleep but a few hours a night, as she had extreme fears. She was hospitalized for three weeks. We started DBT about a month after her discharge and figured out her medication to include a mood stabilizer. We were dealing with all of this when she was later diagnosed with Tourette's.
We transferred her from a high school that was competitive high-stress environment into a smaller high school which was/is a much better fit. To our amazement she blossomed. She won awards (acting, writing), made good friends and though she had some ups and downs, she could consistently over time, do well in school. She's even become an advocate - explaining Tourette's to her friends and to teachers. She has friends who struggle with mental health and they come to HER, and I've overheard her advice and to my surprise, it's good advice, right on the money. It seemed she was soaking-in what she's learned about herself or so it would seem.
She admitted feeling suicidal during a lull in the summer, so we stepped up her therapy appointments from once to twice a week. I understand that she may always have the thought - like a default feeling re: suicide, and at her best she can tell her brain, "thanks for sharing, I wont' be doing that." I've noticed that she consistently needs something to do to fight of depression: something or someone to look forward to. We found a virtual creative outlet over the summer and she loved it. We just started another round of DBT last week (first time was 2 years ago). She's had some rapid-cycling moods, and while that may be more of a bi-polar type of aspect, her other symptoms are of a BPD nature (chronic emptiness, fear of abandonment, etc.). Hoping the increased mood-stabilizer can help.
Right now, I'm seeing some troubling behavior...doing things to excess, missing assignments, and marijuana use (on the weekend but still). Deciding to stay up all night on a Saturday and skipping the mood stabilizer, since it's sedating.
So here we are at 17. She has these dreams of going away to college and knows what she wants to pursue. While things were evening out last year, I thought it could happen. I figured she'd have challenges, but it seemed a possibility. Now I wonder, if she will get in the way of her own dreams. Do I have to mandate that she cannot go away to school.
I don't want to give up hope. Yet I now wonder how this can all come together. As I mentioned earlier, I'd very much appreciate hearing from those of you who have an adult child with BPD, and especially if they "successfully," completed college and weathered BPD-type setbacks while in school. I see now that I have to leave room for things to "go south," and yet I don't want to totally invalidate her dreams. She wants to attend a college in Philadelphia, *only* 2 hours away. While we feel like we're doing all we can to support her, it's exhausting. I want to be realistic yet I don't want to "catastrophize," - which is hard for me, not to do.
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