Introduction of my life

[Lucy Lu]

In the past year, My 15 year old began running away from home for sometimes just a few hours and sometimes leaving days at a time, she's done this several times, sometimes right in a row and sometimes waiting for long times between each episode, at first we weren't sure what was going on as she doesn't live in an abusive home, her Dad and I have been married for 25 years and have a really good relationship as well as a pretty good relationship with our kids.  We have 2 grown daughters that we've never had any issues with and we adopted 2 of our children whom are both now 17 years old and have never had any issues like these with any of them.
 My 15 year old was diagnosed with traits of borderline personality back in Feb. She has stolen our car twice, stole money twice, has been hospitalized 3 times in the last year due to feeling suicidal and once overdosing on xanex. She has also made false allegations while hospitalized but then says that she doesn't remember saying those things.    We have been working with Family guidance and have her in DBT therapy.   Her moods are up and down.

I'm stuggling with getting her help, in the beginning it seemed like when i suggested getting her placed in a hospital or somewhere she could get help, people took it like i was trying to get her out of our home.   Now after recently stealing our car, her juvenile officer is wanting to do something, we have a court date coming up soon.   I feel like being at home she's not receiving the help she needs although i'm really trying.  She tells me all the time she doesn't want to be at home.  Now she's telling me that she can't wait to go to Juvenile detention but it will be better for her. 

My house isn't the same, it almost feels like a prison.  My husband and i get up several times each night to make sure she's still home, we keep our room locked 24/7 where we keep all our money, keys, medication.  I have to keep the key on my at all times.   It's now to the point where i can't trust her at home alone as she has broke into my locked room.   We have door locks and security alarms on doors to make it difficult for her to leave although we know is she decides to leave she will find a way to leave.   She's very sneaky and resourceful. 

I'm interested in learning tips on how to help my daughter and my family deal with her traits of borderline personality.   I'm interested in learning what other people do in my situation or what resources that you've used to help your loved one.    I just really want somewhere to go when things get hard.  Cause most people don't understand this disorder or how to parent a child with it.   Thank you for listening!

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

I am so sorry to read the struggles you are having at the moment. Do you think there are any substance abuse issues for your child at the moment?