Received the judgment from final hearing today

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Judge emailed her judgement from last week's final hearing. I no longer have kids 50-50... Now have them 3 out of 4 weekends and half school holidays.

I am disappointed. Not what I wanted (50-50), but better than what she was asking for. I am hoping this will be an end to a chapter-- unfortunately I am sure there will be more drama ahead.

[SES]

Judge emailed her judgement from last week's final hearing. I no longer have kids 50-50... Now have them 3 out of 4 weekends and half school holidays.

I am disappointed. Not what I wanted (50-50), but better than what she was asking for. I am hoping this will be an end to a chapter-- unfortunately I am sure there will be more drama ahead.

[Skip]

So are you saying you went from 50/50% to 75/25%?

[SES]

Yep... It is really, really disappointing. Judge found her honest and credible.

[Skip]

What was the main reason they changed the current 50/50%?

[zachira]

Keep ongoing documentation of everything that happens with the children's mother that is inappropriate and inaccurate, especially when she does not follow court ordered custody. This is your proof for a change in custody at a later court hearing. Rebecca Zung, a divorce attorney, has some great youtube vidoes with Dr. Romani, a psychologist, on challenges with custody and winning in court.

[SES]

What was the main reason they changed the current 50/50%?

Her main argument was domestic abuse.  Despite her being the one with the DV criminal record. I have very limited contact with her.  Unfortunately my lawyer felt the Judge was against me, so were CPS who were ordered to provide a court report. CPS fabricated a criminal record for me, which sums up the way they conducted themselves.

[SES]

Keep ongoing documentation of everything that happens with the children's mother that is inappropriate and inaccurate, especially when she does not follow court ordered custody. This is your proof for a change in custody at a later court hearing. Rebecca Zung, a divorce attorney, has some great youtube vidoes with Dr. Romani, a psychologist, on challenges with custody and winning in court.

Thanks. My guess, there will be more drama. I lost count of the lies. Not sure my Barrister's strategy was the best.

[zachira]

I agree with you that there is likely going to be more drama. There are many fathers who post here who have not gotten the amount of custody they desired at first, and through continuing to advocate for what is best for their children have eventually gotten more custody or full custody.

[SES]

Thanks for the encouragement.  I feel very upset about it.  It is like being stuck in an alternative reality. She wants to move with them. The court saw nothing bad in her, despite clear evidence of parental alienation (eg. She got my then d8 to write to the judge saying she didn't want to live with me)

[zachira]

You might want to watch Rebecca Zung's and Dr. Romani's youtube 2 part video on parent alienation. "Divorce Poison" is a great book on how to deal with parent alienation. You certainly cannot be too proactive when protecting yourself against parent alienation.

[Skip]

She wants to move with them.

Relocate away from you?

[SES]

Relocate away from you?

Yes, she want to move to a town that is at least two hours drive from me. 

[SES]

It may not be as bad as I first feared. I haven't seen the order yet, but Barrister thinks the weekend will be Friday to Monday.  Having this 3/4 of weekends term time seems easier to accept.

[Skip]

That would be 35/65%.  Do you get any weeks in the summer. That could push it to 40/60%.

And clearly the "non-school" days are the most meaningful - it's time together.

[ForeverDad]

I never appealed or sought reconsideration of any decisions but that is an option.  Can you contest any conclusions or findings of the court?  I did ponder contesting one order but my lawyer explained how it wasn't as bad as I thought.  It all depends on the terms of the order, once you get it.

Keep ongoing documentation of everything that happens with the children's mother that is inappropriate and inaccurate, especially when she does not follow court ordered custody. This is your proof for a change in custody at a later court hearing.

Zachira is right, continuing documentation is important.  How poorly my ex behaved was typically basis for me to return to court and seek better terms in my order.

Since you already know your ex is intending to move away, are you able to follow and find employment in the new area?

Edit:  I'm pondering that last paragraph.  Does your ex have a reason for a move?  Maybe she can only find a better job in the new area?  You may be able to contest a move away from you if there's not a convincing basis.

[SES]

That would be 35/65%.  Do you get any weeks in the summer. That could push it to 40/60%.

And clearly the "non-school" days are the most meaningful - it's time together.

I get Half school holidays. I think she may be considering an appeal as I don't think she is happy I got 3/4 of term time weekends..

[SES]

Her argument is she can't afford a bigger property where we live, hence wanting to move.  She lives with her affair partner and their toddler, plus our two kids, in what is essentially a two bedroom flat.  

I can appeal, but lawyer says it has to be something new, not know at time of hearing, or a very good reason.  

I can't move with her, as employment wouldn't work for me. Plus my girlfriend lives two hours in the opposite direction.