Handling constant harassment

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Does anyone have constant harassment from their ex?    The Ex wife is constantly sending me notes accusing me of abusing our 10 YO boy, me plotting to kill her, me spying on her, not feeding our boy, wishing my parents would die, etc. etc.     I have been told to ignore these notes and I pretty much do.   Telling her to stop the harassment is a waste of time.      But how much can a person take?   I am tempted to snipe back at her.    Or just ignore reading her messages for maybe a month.       

 It is not worth bringing these up to the court, as my ex would  turn around and ask the court for approval to move out of the state with the child, and I cannot risk her winning that.     

[trappeddad]

Does anyone have constant harassment from their ex?    The Ex wife is constantly sending me notes accusing me of abusing our 10 YO boy, me plotting to kill her, me spying on her, not feeding our boy, wishing my parents would die, etc. etc.     I have been told to ignore these notes and I pretty much do.   Telling her to stop the harassment is a waste of time.      But how much can a person take?   I am tempted to snipe back at her.    Or just ignore reading her messages for maybe a month.       

 It is not worth bringing these up to the court, as my ex would  turn around and ask the court for approval to move out of the state with the child, and I cannot risk her winning that.     

[worriedStepmom]

Is she sending those notes through your son?  Or via email or text?

[trappeddad]

she sends through ofw (family wizard).    btw, hate paying for this site as its just a harassment forum.

[worriedStepmom]

I'm glad you are using OFW.  We use a parenting app, also, and it's the best thing you can do in a situation like this.  The best part of it is that you have documentation of every bit of the crazy (and hopefully also documentation of you refusing to engage in the crazy and staying focused on your son),  The second best part is that you only have to check it when you are in the right mood.

Is there someone you trust who could read the messages for you for a while and let you know if there is something that you need to respond to? My H feels the same as you, so I read the messages for him.

Does she tell your son any of these things?  For a long time, we thought my H's ex was only telling us the crazy/harassing things.  When SD was 11, we found out mom had been telling her the same stuff.  That's parental alienation and a form of emotional child abuse.

[MeandThee29]

Yes, ignore or have a friend read them. I know several people in my divorce group who do that.

Whatever you do, never respond right away unless it's a true emergency. You want to give an impression that you are largely unavailable as a sanity-protecting measure.

[trappeddad]

Thanks, good advice to have a friend read and filter out the BS.

[mart555]

Damn! You lucked out, it's all in OFW.  That information will come in handy at some point when there is a custody battle, or she turns violent and you need to file reports, you'll have more evidence.