My oldest child has BPD

[LisaHamilton]

Hi there.  This is my first post.  My oldest child, J,  is turning 18 in January.  They (she is nonbinary) have struggled for many years and have finally been diagnosed officially with BPD.   I am saddened and I feel powerless to change anything.  This is not what I pictured when I first held her in my arms. 

We have been through so many treatments for J:  DBT, inpatient, EMDR, peer support, family counseling.  Nothing works, nothing changes.  We are exhausted.

We are a family of four from Hamilton Ontario Canada.  My husband and I are struggling too - we deal with J's behavior differently.  He gets angry and I get sad.  I have a 14 year old son who is often the recipient of J's bad moods. 

I am looking forward to exploring the BPDfamily site.  I need help to work through my feelings about J's diagnosis.  I also hope there's help out there for coming to a better place together.  I want a relationship with my kid.  It's just so hard right now.

Thanks all.

Lisa

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Tulipps]

I'm sorry to hear you are hurting and hope you find some comfort here amongst others in similar situations. I found this site recently and although I haven't posted a lot (hope to interact more over time), just reading other parents' stories and reviewing the many tips and tools available has been  helpful.