Update

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

    It has been a while since I posted so I just wanted to give an update. I am officially divorced as of today and my divorce took over seven years. My scenario was that I reconciled in late 2015 with my ex. Fast forward to 2018, my ex moved from doing alcohol to getting hooked on drugs. Things became very messy to the point where I had to get a one year protective order and filed for divorce. The divorce took over two years, my ex spent nine months ignoring my counsel's request for discovery (and a course Covid took place)

     I can’t complain about the result of the judgement. I got physical custody of my daughter, my ex and myself share legal custody. We also waived spousal support which will allow my daughter and myself to stay in our home. I am now going to refinance the house and take out a loan to buy my ex out of her share of the community property (ie: the house).

     I know I have been very lucky because when we first started the original divorce process I was only given every other weekend where I could visit my daughter. It is amazing how quick things can change and now I am the one with physical custody. My words of advice is don’t give up things can change even in the darkest of times.

[hurtguy2014]

    It has been a while since I posted so I just wanted to give an update. I am officially divorced as of today and my divorce took over seven years. My scenario was that I reconciled in late 2015 with my ex. Fast forward to 2018, my ex moved from doing alcohol to getting hooked on drugs. Things became very messy to the point where I had to get a one year protective order and filed for divorce. The divorce took over two years, my ex spent nine months ignoring my counsel's request for discovery (and a course Covid took place)

     I can’t complain about the result of the judgement. I got physical custody of my daughter, my ex and myself share legal custody. We also waived spousal support which will allow my daughter and myself to stay in our home. I am now going to refinance the house and take out a loan to buy my ex out of her share of the community property (ie: the house).

     I know I have been very lucky because when we first started the original divorce process I was only given every other weekend where I could visit my daughter. It is amazing how quick things can change and now I am the one with physical custody. My words of advice is don’t give up things can change even in the darkest of times.

[defogging]

Good for you, man.  Awesome words there - Don't ever give up, keep fighting.

[ForeverDad]

Is she a joint owner of the home, on the deed?  Then make sure you don't give her the money until you or your lawyers have her quitclaim deed in your hands.

If you give her the money but she doesn't hand over a signed quitclaim deed, then you will end up as the sole person responsible for the mortgage but she would still own half the house.

Your Leverage for compliance is the money.  While the court may have ordered her to comply and sign, many courts don't have a good track record of enforcing their orders.

[CoherentMoose]

Congratulations hurtguy.  A big milestone in (hopefully) the long journey of your life, and especially, your life as a parent providing a more normal home environment. 

Good luck going forward.  Thank you for taking the time to post and let others know your story.  Be well.  CoMo