Help

[dulcinea]

I am not certain my daughter has BPD but she definitely has many of the characteristics. She has been in & out of therapy since age 18. Eight months out of grad school is currently unemployed & not looking for jobs, struggles daily with emotions, sleeps a lot, believes she has numerous health issues (lab work shows different)and has me mentally exhausted. The rest of the family has lost patience with her and believes she is just spoiled, which may be partly true. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have read Randi Kreger's first book, am now working through The Essential Family Guide To BPD but could probably really use to hear from other parents. I really don't want to wear out extended family & friends listening to our problems.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[losttrust]

sounds like my now 24 year old son.  started as social anxiety and panic attacks which lead to depression and ocd.  very "needy" - and also believed he has had multiple issues from heart attack,  to bowel issues - lots of blame game.  we did a year and half of various medicine trials- zero success most had horrid side effects with little if any relief then genomind study to identify his body dna tolerance; tms coil for depression (no help) and then tms coil (ocd ) no help.   reason for my subject line-  4 different doctors seen each with a different "idea" lets try...  it wasnt until I read stop walking on egg shells that it was like "oh- this sounds familiar" moment.  hes been suicidal (of sorts- no marks but very serious and scary threats) one landed him into a 72 hour hold after he challenged police help. which oddly enough did lesson the daily mantra.  I don't want to sound insensitive or dismissive but after being the only care provider for him and 2 85 year olds during covid   - i have to admit that i have become less reactionary in general   I found the book the best "tool" i've ever had.  I played a few chapters in the evening while going to sleep over and over again and when i could i practiced the "talk" and found in several scenarios it did defuse the moment.  No, it didnt stop all the rants from going over the top.  but i did learn how to hold my own and draw a line in the sand on my participation in such events or dialogs which is helping him too as he knows if he wants my attention dont step over this line.  I also took the first "me" trip to the coast.  I found a stand alone no central air /heat walk into front door unit in Cambria that i felt safe (covid wise) and cleaned all brought my pillow my bedding yada  (as i stated before i am solo care of both my son and 2 able bodied but 85 year olds so getting covid would be devastating   But the risk of a mid week get away was well worth the trouble as it allowed me for the first time in 9 months to breath.  i even caught myself feeling like me again.   I don't have a therapy, psychotherapy,
psychologist, residential treatment center i can recommend.  And we are finding it near impossible to get a BPD who is certified in DPT to return a phone call or email which is disheartening too. those in psychology today never reply.  If you find a good professional worthy of a referral i'd love to know... meanwhile- my advice is to: take a trip, find a way to regroup and recharge, and listen to the audio version of stop walking on egg shells.