new to group

[mobpd1968]

Hello,  New to the group and excited to finally find a site where I can get some help and advice to  assist my daughter with her healing.  my daughter is 23 and I feel at times she uses her diagnosis as a crutch to get out of things,  is is wrong to have these feelings and how to deal with it

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[old97]

Hi mobpd,

Welcome to the board. I also am pretty new to it, but reading others' posts and the bit of interaction I've had have been very helpful to me.

My person with BPD is my partner's daughter (early 20s) and I have long suspected she uses her BPD as an excuse for a whole slew of things. She does not work or go to school and says she can't handle either due to BPD. She's alienated almost all of her friends and family, which she says is because "they don't understand BPD". She is essentially non-functional in any adult matter, because BPD. Unfortunately, her mother (my partner) is not good with boundaries and has enabled a lot of it.

Sorry - that was more venting than I planned.

My point is I don't think it's wrong to feel the way you do. I think good healthy boundaries, which you consistently and evenly enforce, are critical to minimizing the excuse-making. Being supportive and loving, but not enabling will, I think, help. And I know it's a lot easier to say than do.

I encourage you to keep posting here, and to read anything you can get your hands on regarding living with BPD. There's a ton of help out there. Which of course doesn't solve the problem. But the resources available can at least give you some ideas and things to try.