Mirroring behaviors

[Hope88]

Hello - This is my first time on the site. I am curious if anyone else feels that they too are mirroring the BPD behavior of their loved one? I bounce between calm, reasonable discussions (so, so many), modeling good behavior traits, to high octane yelling matches, to retreating as fast as I can. The elevated ones can get so bad and I just can't take it anymore and lose it by arguing, screaming and retreating - not the best modeling I know. Then I going into the "did she get this from me?" or "Am I the real problem?" mode and start wanting to shut down. Luckily, that isn't my true nature and I snap out of it quick enough and continue to research or try to busy myself with  other productive things. At my age, it is all getting so exhausting though.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

welcome!  I wouldn't say you necessarily have BPD too.  It is so easy to get enmeshed into their drama.  You are able to to busy yourself  and self soothe, and that is key.  Keep on doing that. We are glad you wrote in, please feel free to do so any time.  You are not alone.