Its been 6 months since she and I really spoke... and met a year ago...

[legalboxers]

I met her one year ago, give or take (This is the person I wrote about Ad nauseam) I am suppose to marry her in a week. February 13. I still had it in my calendar. I have the rings still. The wedding vows I wrote. How can you get out of the mindset

I think I'm the only guy in my circle who thinks like this probably. I dont know Maybe its just me...

This is a piece of what I wrote:
I cant believe you are in front of me.
At this time, at this place. In this time
You lost your Mother, I lost many friends
Covid took many lives. But it more affected us

I did not know your mom well. But as you were in the hospital with her
I said a silent prayer. Promising your mom I would look out for you and after you.

You are standing in front of me.
In your wedding gown. Your friends are with you.
Sadly none of my friends or family wanted to come.

"Picnic Bear" "Cuddles" "Groom Bear" and  "Lucky" were my best "bears" since no one wanted to.
Its a good day today. Today I feel complete. Someone who really loves me, I am marrying today
My future is here, before me. My love of my life is before me. I could not ask for anything more in my life...

More will me added by next Saturday...I dont even care about the superbowl. If you seen "Sleepless in Seattle" The whole life thread is there. From the beginning of the "leftovers' (Thanksgiving) for Christmas the "Phone Call" with "Dr. Marsha". Tom Hanks and his son playing "football" Would be the "Superbowl" ish.. And then.. Valentines Day. On top of the Empire State Building...

You are not here. You are a dream which is struggling to keep its form, struggling not to fade or go away..Its saying "please dont go" please dont leave me.. Please...

[khibomsis]

Ya, legalboxers, busy cleaning up my office and came across a paper stuck on the wall, detailing our wedding date and things to be done. It hurt.  Wedding was postponed that time because I was sick (concussion). Now, I am starting to think the concussion was a most fortunate event. So I have left the paper on the wall. It reminds me each time I walk past it to be grateful. 

[legalboxers]

Ya, legalboxers, busy cleaning up my office and came across a paper stuck on the wall, detailing our wedding date and things to be done. It hurt.  Wedding was postponed that time because I was sick (concussion). Now, I am starting to think the concussion was a most fortunate event. So I have left the paper on the wall. It reminds me each time I walk past it to be grateful. 

She again changed her profile pic with him. I know it was a swipe at me since shes that kind of person. What I dont get it is, literally after dumping me, some divine light shined on her, and she cleaned up her house. Like it was some sort of miracle. How does that work?

[khibomsis]

Legalboxers, there is no saying what motivates a pwBPD. I used to try and understand but then decided that in order to fully get it I would have to be BPD myself. Which most fortunately I'm not. So these days I follow accepted wisdom which observes patterns of behaviour and addresses those. Heaven only knows what goes on inside their heads. At least we are well out of it and may be content with observing from afar.

Hang on in there! 

[legalboxers]

Legalboxers, there is no saying what motivates a pwBPD. I used to try and understand but then decided that in order to fully get it I would have to be BPD myself. Which most fortunately I'm not. So these days I follow accepted wisdom which observes patterns of behaviour and addresses those. Heaven only knows what goes on inside their heads. At least we are well out of it and may be content with observing from afar.

Hang on in there! 

She now tells me shes with some firefighter dude. for days shes like she isnt with anyone until now shes like "oh Im with someone"...

[tokyowinter]

Hey! I'm new here, but I can resonate. My exBPD lied to me about being with someone else for 6 months and got into her new relationship 2 weeks after I left her. I asked her repeatedly about the situation because my daughters stayed with them when not with me; she told me she was there with a married couple who was helping her out. They find any and every way to deceive you, likes it's a game and the purpose of their life. Just out of curiosity, why are you still in contact with her? Hope that's not too forward.

[legalboxers]

Hey! I'm new here, but I can resonate. My exBPD lied to me about being with someone else for 6 months and got into her new relationship 2 weeks after I left her. I asked her repeatedly about the situation because my daughters stayed with them when not with me; she told me she was there with a married couple who was helping her out. They find any and every way to deceive you, likes it's a game and the purpose of their life. Just out of curiosity, why are you still in contact with her? Hope that's not too forward.

Simple:(. I’m dumb, stupid and I don’t want to die alone at 45 I guess. Hardest pill to swallow. I’m where this Covid deaths were happening. People dropping like flies. Her mom’s death is in a month, first time I met her