He leaving I think for real this time

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

After 21 year’s with my partner bpd/rapid cycling bipolar, 100s of cycles he is packing as I type this. Don’t even know what to say. Help me be strong and stand up for myself.

[Betterlife2021]

After 21 year’s with my partner bpd/rapid cycling bipolar, 100s of cycles he is packing as I type this. Don’t even know what to say. Help me be strong and stand up for myself.

[P.F.Change]

Even if you see it coming, it's a difficult thing to go through. I had 20 years with my exh when he moved out. Did things go ok (without much conflict) yesterday? What are you feeling today? Let us know how we can support you.

[Betterlife2021]

P.F. Change

I think conflict is mostly over now. I have a really hard time not getting pulled into the J.A.D.E cycle. He will just keep pushing till I blow. He has not packed anything for two days. Which makes me feel that he is not going anywhere. I guess I just need some advice on how talk to him without J.A.D.E ing. If he leaves I know I will be okay. Even though ending something that has been part of my entire adult life will be hard. We have been together since we were 20. I am a pretty strong person. And do have very supportive family and friends. Though none of them can understand why I have stayed so long. Caregiver who is extremely empathetic. That’s what the therapist has came up with. I guess why I joined this group is to talk to people that have more education and understanding about what is going on here.

[Diddle]

Betterlife2021

This seems to be a common part of the cycle, where the PwBPD announces they're leaving, I have to admit after 20 yrs in our relationship, I may feel a little relieved. So for the packing to stop and it to all have been part of the cycle, would really mess with my mind.

We have never go to that stage, hubbie often throws around the words "well what do you want, do you want to split up" or "I can't carry on like this, this isn't working" over minuscule things he perceives me to have done. But never as far as packing bags.

How do you feel about it? Where do you want things to go, and what happening now, are you ok?

[Betterlife2021]

Diddle,  Things have calmed down a lot in the last few days. Mostly what was going on is trying to hold up my boundaries. I am still working on keeping them intact. He still believes if he pushes hard enough I will let them fall. At this point I’m pretty sure that he is not leaving. I have reinforced my boundaries and made it very clear that they are for my own protection, and are not flexible. At this point I would like to try to make this work. Did a lot of reading this weekend on the skills and workshop board. I definitely need to work on my communication skills. And make sure I don’t get pulled in to the jade cycle. Spent way to much time there in the past.  We have been here many times he will start to pack when don’t give into what he wants or thinks mostly about those things he perceives I have done or sometimes not done. He has never actually left. It definitely brings up very conflicting feelings. Relieved is definitely one for I know my life would be much easier.  But also sadness, fear, for him and what may become of him. It’s a whole mixed bag.