my BPD daughter

[Halochild]

Hi everyone

Let me start by saying I am so grateful to have this available.  I never can find any support for the non-BPD which is so critical.  My daughter has been suffering with this for probably all her life; however it manifested when she was a teenager (14) with other manifestations (depression, rage, self-harm, couple of suicide attempts and multiple hospitalizations.)  She is now 33 years old and is rebuilding her life after getting dui's and drug felonies, addiction.  She lost everything.  My xhuband and I have been supporting her through her legal debacle and now she is living with me trying to get her life back on track.  About 7 years ago she did go to DBT and I feel it was working but then suddenly left for Florida and that was that.  I was able to pay for her therapy because I had received a small inheritence.  I would not be able to pay for it today.  They do not take insurance and it is very, very expensive.
My question for everyone, anyone is how can I get her help with this very specialized behavior modification therapy when I can't afford it.  She has nothing.  It has been extremely difficult living with her.  I live in a small space.  I don't know how to talk to her and I never can get my own feelings validated.  Does anyone have any experience?  I get very sad even though I am not a doom and gloom person that she will have no ability to have a future.  I have bad jowls from being so sad over the years.    anything that could be offered would be so valuable.

thank you all and I hope you are manging well with your loved ones too.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi Halochild,
  It is heartbreaking and frustrating to want to get help for our adult BPD kids. 

Unfortunately, the steps to take forward will be up to her to make, unless you apply for a conservatorship for her and those are difficult to obtain.

Another idea is for her to call the local mental health crisis center .  We have one in most counties in Maryland.  They have provided me a list of therapists that accept sliding scale ( what you can afford).

 There is also the option of your daughter going through her state's medical assistance . She would have to be evaluated  for disability and possibly get help that way.  However, it would be state  government sponsored help, not a private therapist/ hospital .
I am glad you joined, you are not alone.

[kitty1961]

I am not sure spending large amounts of money really even makes a difference.
We have spent all of our retirement, and saving the past 20 years and nothing has changed.
We have been dealing with her diseases for 23 years.

She now gets treatment through the disability and the state (CA) .
Its like putting a band aide on a hemorrhaging bleed.

Our daughter moved back home about a week ago, she has locked herself in her room.
When I try to talk to her it gets very explosive.

Have you tried NAMI?
They have a program called Family connections which you might find helpful, also I think its free or a minimal donation.
( I paid $25.00 for 6 weeks)