Back after a 5 year hiatus

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi Family,

It has been more than 5 years since I last posted.
I wanted to open this up by first of all saying that without the support of this community I never would have escaped from the living hell that was my old life.

The advice and solidarity I got here enabled me to push through the messy ugly divorce, maintain prime parental rights and luckily have 60% custody.

What I had to part with was my home, money and dropping all the assault and harassment charges. But as I learned, sometimes you have to  just take your losses and run.

2 kids with an undiagnosed BPDX sorry can’t quite remember all the acronyms but I’ll get there.

We’ve now been “coparenting” for 6 years though lots of “you can’t make this sh!t up events.
What’s fascinating to me is that I’ve so often found people in the last few years with a BP/NP in their family or romantic life... I can sniff it out a million miles away.

I often redirect people to this board to look for extra resources outside of the books I can recommend.

I am now in a relationship with a very excellent human being. The hard part is trying not to sabotage things because my PTSD does get in the way sometimes.

Been working through  depression in my older child (teen) and my fears as the father draws kiddo in closer during this time.
His POV is that misery loves company. Even if he’s not aware: he feels like they have something unique in common now.
Good news is kiddo has an excellent psychologist and spends most days with me.

I find myself constantly worrying about my kids and teetering on being overprotective.

How much do they know? (I’m not sure)
How much should I reveal? (I’m very diplomatic)
They know we used to “argue” they both recalled physical violence, but never talk about it now- it’s 7 years ago. Long time for a kid/teen.

Daily thankful that the ex cannot be in my home, has no power over my day to day and I was able to free myself from his grasp.

The trauma still lingers in me, still flinch when I get a text. Feel my skin crawl if I see his car. Still burst into tears if someone yells at me. Still can’t shower with the glass door closed.
It lingers.
But it doesn’t control every minute.

Just a bit of a brain dump.

It’s nice to be back.

Sending love and strength to all and looking forward to some conversation.

[Wingstonsoar78]

Hi Family,

It has been more than 5 years since I last posted.
I wanted to open this up by first of all saying that without the support of this community I never would have escaped from the living hell that was my old life.

The advice and solidarity I got here enabled me to push through the messy ugly divorce, maintain prime parental rights and luckily have 60% custody.

What I had to part with was my home, money and dropping all the assault and harassment charges. But as I learned, sometimes you have to  just take your losses and run.

2 kids with an undiagnosed BPDX sorry can’t quite remember all the acronyms but I’ll get there.

We’ve now been “coparenting” for 6 years though lots of “you can’t make this sh!t up events.
What’s fascinating to me is that I’ve so often found people in the last few years with a BP/NP in their family or romantic life... I can sniff it out a million miles away.

I often redirect people to this board to look for extra resources outside of the books I can recommend.

I am now in a relationship with a very excellent human being. The hard part is trying not to sabotage things because my PTSD does get in the way sometimes.

Been working through  depression in my older child (teen) and my fears as the father draws kiddo in closer during this time.
His POV is that misery loves company. Even if he’s not aware: he feels like they have something unique in common now.
Good news is kiddo has an excellent psychologist and spends most days with me.

I find myself constantly worrying about my kids and teetering on being overprotective.

How much do they know? (I’m not sure)
How much should I reveal? (I’m very diplomatic)
They know we used to “argue” they both recalled physical violence, but never talk about it now- it’s 7 years ago. Long time for a kid/teen.

Daily thankful that the ex cannot be in my home, has no power over my day to day and I was able to free myself from his grasp.

The trauma still lingers in me, still flinch when I get a text. Feel my skin crawl if I see his car. Still burst into tears if someone yells at me. Still can’t shower with the glass door closed.
It lingers.
But it doesn’t control every minute.

Just a bit of a brain dump.

It’s nice to be back.

Sending love and strength to all and looking forward to some conversation.

[livednlearned]

Hey, welcome back 

My teen developed depression (and anxiety), too.

He seems to be through the depression but not the anxiety.

What kind of relationship does your teen have with dad?

I found myself dancing around topics with my kid until he started to make emphatic statements. We don't linger in the deep end but we do hop in and out. I sort of farmed things out to the therapist but notice that the best stuff seems to happen when it's the three of us -- me, S19, and his shrink. I don't know what we're really going for but I can tell when it's happening, if that makes sense. I miss the in-person sessions because pauses were more meaningful or seemed easier to read.

What kind of custody/visitation are you working with?

[Diddle]

Hey,

I've found that the only thing that brings me back to these boards is re-emerging drama, so what brings you back?