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Author Topic: Feeling helpless and scared  (Read 374 times)
Kat1027

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3


« on: April 07, 2021, 04:11:35 AM »

My 20 year old daughter has been showing BPD tendencies longer than I ever knew. She has been gaslighting her younger sister since childhood & triangulated relationships for years.
Now she is a single mom cycling between anxiety, rage, & suicidality. I’m a mental health professional & have advocated for my daughters care since 12 seeing failure after failure in a system of a state that fails to fund or address mental health care. Even with insurance & private pay, we hit brick walls.

My daughter uses our gorgeous 18 month old granddaughter like a carrot that may be pulled from us at any moment whether it’s bc she’s angry or bc she feels she needs the emotional support of a toddler. .

She tried to die yesterday. She took an excessive amount of Ativan in hopes of not waking up again. I work an hour away & got a call from a very sedated daughter 5-6 hours later. My husband & myself got there as soon as we could along with calling 911. She denied suicidal intent & had stable vitals. I was told suicide isn’t a crime. Her DBT counselor cannot work with her within 24 hours of self harm or suicide attempt. She wouldn’t come with us & wouldn’t allow us to stay.
We have the baby.

My last conversation with her by phone sounded sedated & groggy again. We took the Ativan, but I’m scared. I’m scared to reach out this morning to see if she’s alive. I’m scared not to.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Sancho
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« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2021, 07:10:50 AM »

Just want to let you know how much I feel for you in this situation. I have experienced that fear - stopping at the door because I was fearful of what I would find when I went further.

I hope when you take the step to find out how your daughter is, that she is okay, and that hopefully some things will be put in place to deal with this crisis.

Was she taken to hospital - or just checked over by ambulance?

So glad you are able to be there for your daughter and also your beautiful grandchild.

I am sure all those who read your post will be sending thoughts and love to you and your family.
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Kat1027

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3


« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2021, 08:58:49 AM »

None of the first responders would take her, fire, emt, police, all said that her denial of suicidality prevented it. I don’t think any of them asked why she took the meds like that though.

She called this morning. She still sounds heavily sedated and groggy. Her child’s father is there. They wanted the baby there but I encouraged them to allow her to go to the sitter so there won’t be any extra stressors for either of them.

She continues to express her hurt & anger over not being successful in her attempt however it’s not the normal raging anger. It’s an energy less anger.

This seems to be triggered by her running across info about BPD being lifelong.
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