How can I continue to live with this?

[ATEB9]

Hello,
I have a spouse with some pretty severe issues. He is either stoned and happy but out of it or sober and angry, distant, rude, mean. He doesn't work. He doesn't take showers. He doesn't help with things that need to occur other than a few things he likes to do- such as dishes and laundry inexplicably. He doesn't talk to me. He watches tv and plays video games or is on his phone from 4 am until 8 pm when he falls asleep. I need to stay in this marraige because I fear how he would behave if I tried to get out of this situation. I may not be able to continue indefinately but for now I am stuck in this. There is no way to get help because he is either unaware of what he acts like, is dishonest about his behavior when we go to therapy or when he goes by himself, doesnt remember discussions we have had and he is also completely lacking in any empathy and self reflection. He is 100% all about himself and unaware/uncaring of his impact on others unless it is because he feels occasionally horrible about himself. I partially do not even want to talk about this because I feel like it won't change anything then I am left with feelings stirred up and floating around but yet nothing can be done.

How does one live like this? Does this sound like anything anyone else is dealing with?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[ATEB9]

Hi I am sorry- i posted this in the wrong place and dont know how to delete it! I should have posted in the marraige/spouse section! I popped a new version in there !