At wits end

[Spiraling]

Hello Everyone

I have a an adult daughter who suffers BPD, anxieties, PTSD, depression and possibly ADHD. When she was first diagnosed the severity of the symptoms were moderate. Fast forward to today, the severity mode has grown off the scales, and now includes extreme anger, physical violence, alcohol abuse mixed with prescription drugs. Any advice on professional help which she refuses?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[KBug]

I'm so sorry that you and your daughter are in such a painful place. I would start with you, since she doesn't seem to be willing to seek mental health treatment. Getting my own therapist really helps me to process what's going on, take things less personally, and learn to let go of trying to fix my SD. The best advice I have gotten is from the co-dependency community, "I didn't create this, I can't control this, and I can't cure this." Therapy has helped me to lean into this mantra and learn to live in it.

[pursuingJoy]

Spiraling you're not alone.  Please accept this big hug. We can let go of what we can't control, but even that brings its own grief and feelings of loss, anger, frustration and powerlessness. I've had to fight my own depression and anxiety. In the last 3 months I've amped up my self-care to almost ridiculous levels but it weighs on me and I will always worry about my kid.

I haven't heard of anyone having any luck forcing someone into treatment. For it to be effective, they have to want it. There are formal diagnoses in your daughter's case, right? So she's seen professionals. Has she ever received treatment of any kind?

How old is she? Do you live together or near each other?

[Spiraling]

I'm so sorry that you and your daughter are in such a painful place. I would start with you, since she doesn't seem to be willing to seek mental health treatment. Getting my own therapist really helps me to process what's going on, take things less personally, and learn to let go of trying to fix my SD. The best advice I have gotten is from the co-dependency community, "I didn't create this, I can't control this, and I can't cure this." Therapy has helped me to lean into this mantra and learn to live in it.

[Spiraling]

Hello Kbug

Thanks for the words of wisdom.  It's been a few years now since the diagnosis and as you mentioned as time goes on, I've realized this is something that we have to live with.  There is no real cure for mental health issues.

[Spiraling]

Hi Joy

Hope your doing better. My daughter's issues began while attending grade school then later high school where things rapidly went down hill.  She is now an adult at 20 years old this year. In her early years she began seeing a youth therapist where she did CBT. Once she reached 18, the she was considered an adult and we were advised that a new therapist who dealt with adults would be more suitable.  This is where the slope began down hill.  

[Sancho]

In my case the symptoms of BPD dd are much worse due to substance abuse. It just makes it so much harder because when she tries to get off the substances, the BPD explodes.

I still find myself thinking about what can I do etc, but these thoughts don't last long now. She has to make any steps herself if there will be any way out of this.

In the meantime it is so hard! Really feel for you and understand what you are going through.

[Spiraling]

Hi Sancho

Thanks for the kind words.  Our cases are very similar. My daughter also becomes very angry because of withdrawl from substance abuse.  It's very difficult to not to ignore but I find kindness and patience works very well.