I'm the peace keeper in the family and bare a lot of the emotional burden

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi,... I honestly have no idea where to start or how to even tell our story. My daughter, who is 17, was recently diagnosed with BPD & this is all new to me. I'm trying to understand, but also trying to figure out if I did this, or what I could have done (if anything) to prevent it. I'm deeply depressed because my husband (who may have BPD too) and I argue over everything and anything, including our daughter. I'm the one who knows (or thinks
 I do) how to get her to calm down in times of distress. I'm the peace keeper in the family and bare a lot of the emotional burden, because I "think" I get it. I know this isn't healthy but I honestly don't know how to change. I love my daughter with all my heart, but I feel lost. I am hoping by coming on here and bring able to share my story and asking for help, I can start the journey to understanding and I guess to know I'm not alone.

[Lostmom98]

Hi,... I honestly have no idea where to start or how to even tell our story. My daughter, who is 17, was recently diagnosed with BPD & this is all new to me. I'm trying to understand, but also trying to figure out if I did this, or what I could have done (if anything) to prevent it. I'm deeply depressed because my husband (who may have BPD too) and I argue over everything and anything, including our daughter. I'm the one who knows (or thinks
 I do) how to get her to calm down in times of distress. I'm the peace keeper in the family and bare a lot of the emotional burden, because I "think" I get it. I know this isn't healthy but I honestly don't know how to change. I love my daughter with all my heart, but I feel lost. I am hoping by coming on here and bring able to share my story and asking for help, I can start the journey to understanding and I guess to know I'm not alone.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[By Still Water]

Hello Lostmom98,
   The feeling of pressing depression is an awful one, when we are in the throes of living with a BPD child. Our hearts go out to you; it is such a painful place, we know. I'm glad you're here. My husband and I, too, scoured ourselves, introspectively, to try to find what we might have done as parents. (Ours is nearly 40.) The saying, here, is one I've found to be personally helpful: I didn't cause it; I can't control it; I can't cure it.