bpd daughter with child

[bigfatmama60]

Recently our daughter had a drug relapse and we were very worried about our daughter and granddaughter who is almost 6.Our daughter got mad at us and won't let us see our grand daughter anymore.she has made her afraid of us so that she runs and hides at the sight of our car.she doesn't come out of her house anymore.we are trying to establish grandparent rights so we can visit and see that she's ok.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome!
It is sad and frustrating as grandparents .  Here is a link about grandparents from this forum and how they coped:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=330734.0

Other grands may chime in here.    You are with kin here and not alone.

[Sancho]

I'm not sure from what you describe that your granddaughter is frightened of you. It sounds as though she has been made 'piggy in the middle' ie you can't love Mum and Grandma.

I have seen this sort of thing before. The child is placed in a terrible position, so they deal with it by hiding. They are embarrassed, confused and in pain. It is overwhelming.

IS there any chance that after a while your daughter will be open to letting you see your grandchild again?

My BPD dd has been on a substance abuse journey for many years now. At times it has been unbearable  worrying about the child. I've just had to sit tight - eventually the child comes back into my life. It is not ideal of course, but I think it has been the best of the options that have been available.

The stress and heartbreak is just awful. I hope something resolves soon for you, your daughter and grandchild.