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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
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Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
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Author Topic: Just getting started  (Read 412 times)
Lantzbg

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Living with
Posts: 4


« on: September 13, 2021, 06:57:11 PM »

Hello all.  I am the father of a 15 yr old who may or may not have BPD.  Only official diagnosis is ADD but I suspect bipolar.  I know I shouldn't diagnose her but we are starting family DBT therapy and I just really need some hope.  I would love to hear some success stories.  There may be a thread for that already in which case I will find it.  I've read thru much of the "is this my fault" because I am overwhelmed by guilt.  I can't think of anything we did or didn't do but my poor 15 yr old is suffering and shutting her mother and I out of her life.  It's heartbreaking but I am a spiritual person and have faith the DBT will significantly help us. 
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Swimmy55
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 820



« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2021, 05:36:08 PM »

Welcome and great you are getting your family into therapy.  Awesome!  Now for success stories- it depends on what you call success.  Your definition of success will change as you go along this journey.  Success could be having a conversation that reaches your 15 year old for that day.  Or being able to live without fear for your life  as in my particular case.  Success stories run the gamut here.  Rarely though, will you see a story where a BPD child goes to therapy a few times , sees the light  and is completely healed, the end.  Have patience , give time time and know you are not alone . Thank you for making this group a part of your network of healing. 
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Lantzbg

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Living with
Posts: 4


« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2021, 07:31:21 AM »

Thank you Swimmy55.  Interesting question:  what is success?  I guess I don't expect a full return to the girl I knew before.  I would like to see her make better decisions, stop cutting, increased self-esteem, make friends and be more reasonable (talking to her can be like watching a dog chase his tail, except its not funny).  Reasonably, I believe we are looking at 12 months of DBT therapy, at least.  And I'm okay with that.  Just want to make some progress.  My prayer is that she fully engages and wants the therapy to work.  I just don't know if she's too immature to embrace it.  Again, thank you.  I am so thankful we found this forum and I look forward to getting to know you all.
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