To all fellow travelers who deeply love your child

[Aurora Lee]

Thank you for being here, dear friends.
I never, ever thought I'd be dealing with such stress again...but, after living with a bi-polar mother and then a raging husband (for 2 decades), my grown child is now showing all the symptoms of BPD. It is breaking my heart. The last thing he said after yelling "don't walk away!" was something so very scary. I will be getting counseling for me and also praying he will seek help from a compassionate counselor. Thank you for your kind words and prayers!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Oh Aurora Lee
This is so painful for you. I can hear your heart breaking!

I am glad you are taking steps to get support for yourself. And I hope you can take a break - even a short one - just to feel the value of yourself and your life. You have dealt with so much all your life! I hope there are moments that you can step back from caring for others and appreciate yourself and the gift of your own live.

Sending hugs . . . . . .

[Sancho]

I got your message Aurora Lee. Don't know how to do individual ones, but wanted to reply to let you know I am thinking of you . . . .

During the times when I was beside myself with anxiety, I used to trick myself by saying 'I won't think about this now, but I will think about it at 5 o'clock this afternoon' - or whatever time might be just a little way away. Our time is precious on this earth . . . .

So, so pleased  you will find time for you . . . .little steps!

Hugs . . . .

[Aurora Lee]

Hello dear friend,
Thank you for that great tip (set a later date to feel your feelings).
I've been processing my feelings slowly, and now I am beginning to feel some peace. You have been a shining light in the darkness! It's a great comfort knowing I am not alone.
Hugs...

[Sancho]

Excellent that there has been a shift . . . .small beginnings but that shift is the hardest thing I think - how to get started on a new path in the way we live alongside our loved bpd child.

Such good news . . . . . .

[Aurora Lee]

Hi Sancho,
Thank you for your gentle and kind words of encouragement. I am truly grateful.
I saw this quote: "Life is slippery. Here, take my hand."
That is what your beautiful messages have been to me--a compassionate hand held out to me.
Bless you!
Aurora Lee

[Aurora Lee]

Hi Sancho,
Thanks so much for all your kind words to me. They are like a soothing balm.
Today, I am waiting for my son to return my call-back (he called me earlier, but I missed his call).
Please send your good thoughts my way. I am praying that I will communicate my love to him and validate his feelings...no matter what.
This is my goal for me--to stay calm and loving, every time he and I communicate.
I'm gaining many treasures from the Eggshells book and workbook.
I wish you every good thing today...and, may all your dreams to come true!
Aurora Lee

[Sancho]

Am certainly sending loving thoughts your way today and I hope the phone call goes well. xx

[Aurora Lee]

Thank you, dear friend.
Bless you!
xx

[Sancho]

Thank you for your personal message Aurora Lee. I so appreciate it! I am still trying to work out how to respond to a personal message - just can't find where I go about it even though I use the link provided!

Never mind! Not hearing is extra painful at this time of the year. But because we love our children we can let them go and bear the pain. Sometimes I think that the pain we endure might be the light that guides them - I hope so.

So pleased you are finding little ways and times to appreciate your own life - the gift of our life is just so amazing - and we have that gift in good times and in bad.

I am going to spend some time Christmas Day quietly sending loving thoughts to my BPD dd (and lots of others who I know are struggling).

I hope you know that those thoughts will be coming to you!
xx

[Aurora Lee]

Thank you, Sancho!
(I am getting used to the tool myself...)
Your message is very timely. I had just begun to sink into a funk ("poor me, poor me")...but then, I decided to interrupt that and check my mail instead  . And, I found your lovely note.
What a beautiful idea--to spend Christmas Day sending out loving thoughts. 
Oh, yes! I'm so very grateful for those you have sent my way. I treasure them.
And now, when I remember the dark times I went through in the past, really good things were always just around the corner!
Take my hand, my friend. We will get through this.
Blessings to you!
XX

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders