My adult child lives with me, she has BPD. Things just keep getting worse. She hurls accusations and ascribes heinous motives to me. She’s constantly suicidal and it’s a different mental health emergency every day. She tells me I do nothing for her but provide food and she gets no emotional support or any other support from me. Meanwhile I support us both financially and make myself available for all kinds of support, I’m either caring for her or recovering from the constant emotional emergencies. She’s in counselling and doing DBT, she’s trying but still is really mean and completely lacks empathy for me. Her girlfriend reached out for support yesterday when they were fighting and I was supportive of them both, now she sees it as proof that I don’t love her and that I love her girlfriend, which I’d rubbish. My kid runs out to go kill herself and we have to try to find her and try to stop her or she comes back repeatedly screeching hate and slamming doors. , also if we do go find her she screeches hatred also, there is no right thing to do. I feel like I never sleep. She says I’m violating her human rights by not supporting her the way she needs and I am honestly giving all I have to give. I’m exhausted. I can’t do more but she doesn’t care, she still wants more and punishes me when I don’t do magically know what to do. The girlfriend is now throwing me under the bus and admonishing me for not supporting her. They are at the girlfriend’s house, they came by earlier to pack
Some of her things, I stayed in my room while she wept and they packed. But she will be back. She has no source of income and there are no housing resources when I live. She’s in the process of getting ID then she can open a bank account then she can apply for disability. Supposedly she will move out but with who? Girlfriend texts me regularly about how she can’t handle it, she’s alienated almost every friend she has. No one has the energy for her unrelenting accusations and suicide threats.
All I can offer is this one simple rule. Any mention of intent or threat of suicide must be met with a telephone call to report it to the police. Every single time. She will stop doing it eventually if it is consistent. Because she won't like the result. Tell her girlfriend to do the same.
