Hello Daniela rossi, welcome to the group
The first thing that stood out to me from your post was this:
I’m not sure if my daughter suffers from bpd but everything I read and she has read we both agree
This struck me as a positive start -- that your D would have some acceptance that BPD may describe what she's going through, AND that you both can be on the same page about it. Is that still the case today -- that your D accepts that she may have BPD?
I tend to give in to things and feel she has a way of making me feel bad.
You're not alone -- this is a common way for people to try to cope with pwBPD (people with BPD) in their lives. I think I remember a comment somewhere that "how can you tell that you were interacting with someone with a PD? If YOU walk away from the interaction confused, guilty, unsure, etc".
I want her to be happy but I don’t know how to help her.
That's an important insight for you to have, and connects to a big question for so many parents on this board:
What does it look like to
really help my adult child with BPD?
I hear you talking about money being a stressor between you and your D. Can you tell us more about that? Does she have an "expectation" or "entitlement" to money from you? What do you think she would do if you decided to help her less and less, gradually, with money?
...
Feel free to reply whenever works best for you, Daniela rossi; we're glad you reached out.
Cheers;
kells76
