Text, Text, Text

[CVK]

My 39 year old daughter says the reason she self harms is all because of me. She ruminates at night then starts texting me. She gets angry and will at times text me over and over and over. It’s always the same thing. You don’t listen, you push, I hate you!  Some times she uses abusive  language. I had enough and although I’ve said and done it before, only to cross my own boundary I finally blocked her phone number so she can no longer text me.  She called me on my house phone and asked if I blocked her and I said yes   She told me she had me listed as her emergency contact. I said they can call Dad or the house phone. Now she has blocked me. I’m wondering if I did the right thing.  I just couldn’t take the texting anymore

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome.  In short , yes, you did the right thing. You have as much right to not be abused as your daughter does.   Boundaries are necessary sometimes and I would like to direct you to "boundaries" on the drop down list at the top of the page.  Please write more as you are able, we understand here.

[Trying2Survive]

Ive thought about this a million times.  I cant seem to decide if blocking is the right move as I dont deserve the abuse or if that will play into the perceived abandonment and make things worse?  I do think the RIGHT decision is what you have done.  I wish I was as strong.  Maybe I will get there.

[Sancho]

Hi CVK and Trying2Survive
I think you are both right. I think these things are part of the range of options that we have in dealing with our situations.

For the most part I think people choose an option when they are at the end of their tether in relation to a particular thing. CVK the time had come for you to choose this option, and, as you point out dd has other options regarding next of kin. You have a right to assert yourself in this way, and hopefully over time the impact of putting up this boundary will benefit dd as well.

The option is on the table for you Trying2survive, but there are many reasons why you are reluctant to choose it at the moment. But it is there. I tend to choose options when I am at the end of my tether and it is the only option available.

There is no blueprint to follow in a relationship with BPD. There are options and there is advice and support - but only we know what will help our particular situation at any moment in time.

I think people coping with a BPD loved one are the heroes and heroines of our time!

[Trying2Survive]

I think people coping with a BPD loved one are the heroes and heroines of our time!

This.  Thank you for this validation today <3

[CVK]

Thank you all. It feels wonderful to know I am not alone.   I can’t believe this is happening.