Seeking guidance

[Peanut16]

Hi, I’m brand new to the site. My adult child has BPD and will not get help. How can we have a relationship that is genuine and real if he continues to rage at me?  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Couscous]

He will have no reason to seek help if he can discharge his rage onto you. It’s essentially the way he self-medicates.

All you can do is communicate to him that you are no longer going to be available to be yelled at, or blamed, and then you walk out the door or hang up the phone, and then go do something enjoyable. And then you no longer participate in the kinds of conversations that trigger his outbursts.