Manipulation-feeling confused

[Julsie]

Hi all,
So, with my son, I've made a lot of allowances for his manipulative behaviour - he's not aware of what he's doing, maybe it's maladaptive ways of relating that he's learned over the years, or he's just severely depressed and not aware of how horrible he's being, whatever!
Recently,  he's said we're estranged, blocked all texts etc from me, cut me out of his care,all incredibly hurtful. But before this says he's drinking again ( all my fault) and cutting himself not answering when I ask how bad and not answering calls. So, as usual we trot round to his flat to make sure he's still alive, however, the next day he misses  a very important call from the hospital and other calls. The psychiatrist gets no answer and is concerned and tells me to call the police. I message his friend who says he's fine and he'd just been chatting to him. Now he has clearly demonised me against his friend who is, after a nice chat, also now ignoring me. I can't not see this as very conscious, manipulative behaviour? So in short, he gets me frantically worried that he's about to kill himself, stops answering any calls etc makes out to all the professionals that I'm abusive, the cause of everything which, in short, gets everyone pandering over him from all directions.  Does this make sense?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Couscous]

Hi Julsie,

Since you mentioned he drinks this means you qualify for Al-Anon, which I do believe you might find to be very helpful. Perhaps you would be willing to attend one their meetings local to you?

[Rev]

Hi Julsie,

Since you mentioned he drinks this means you qualify for Al-Anon, which I do believe you might find to be very helpful. Perhaps you would be willing to attend one their meetings local to you?

I would second that - my daughter is bi-polar and I get very little if any help/support from her mother who is in complete denial about our responsibilities as parents. Outside support from others who can relate is, to my mind, the only way to stay sane in the midst of this.

Hang in there.

Reach out any time.

Rev

[Julsie]

Thank you Rev and Couscous