35 year son living at home shows symtoms of bpd how to cope

[flowermumrose]

after reading walking on eggshells, finally have a little understanding of son
behaviour patterns..
over years outside family members all have a fault, he dislikes all, and hangs onto resons why he hates them maybe 10years ago, and puts us
nice well mannered parents in a agonising postion.
trying to use differnet methods to approach, its difficult so much to learn and
bpd is undiagnosed...

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Flowermumrose
Welcome to the family here. I hope you will be helped by looking at the resources that are here and also by looking at the posts. I came here this morning because I had a tradesman lined up to come and do some long awaited work, but BPD dd woke up, stormed out swearing, banging doors  . . .  and naturally he left.

I am so disappointed, but this is the life I lead.

Coming here is always a help to me because it means I don't feel alone.

It is difficult to comment on your situation. On the one hand you recognise your son in the outline 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' - so at last you have a possible explanation for how your son behaves.

But there could be other explanations. You don't mention anger, verbal abuse of yourself or someone else - but perhaps this is happening.

People with major depression can hold on to feelings of being slighted, or feel as though everyone is against them - paranoid feelings if you like about the world being against them. I am just wondering if he would be open to suggesting seeing a doctor about a trial of an antidepressant? Probably not, but sometimes it can really help.

My dd tried a ssri many years ago and it made a huge difference to how quickly she 'lost it'. But the other symptoms of BPD were clearly still there and she didn't stick to it.

Let's know a bit more detail re anger and other bpd. I hope coming here is the first step in developing your own skills in dealing with what is a truly awful situation.