I need California BPD inpatient help that is covered by insurance

[worriedparent]

My 15 year old son was diagnosed last year with borderline traits. He is engaging in sex work, drugs, alcohol, eating disorder, and high-risk behavior. He won't obey any rules and stays out all night. I am looking for a safe monitored 24/7 place where he can get the help he needs. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[SaltyDawg]

Welcome to BPD Family.

Sounds like you are in a very tough position.

I am a father, I had to 'lock up' my daughter [as she puts it] with an ED or AN to save her life just before COVID.  

It sounds like you have it much worse that I did, and what you are about to do will be exceptionally tough.

I am on the East Coast, so I cannot give you specific information for assistance; however, I will suggest several areas to look for your information.  .

#1, your son's pediatrician, this is where I got my initial help on my Daughter, then we expanded it to #2 when she was removed from school to get her homework assignments in hospital.  This was pre-COVID.  Now they should be able to do virtual school in the hospital.

#2, school guidance counselor, in most states they are mandated reporters, so CPS may get involved, and he will get into the system - don't say anything that will self-incriminate.  Once in the CPS system, it will be next to impossible to get him out.  If this sounds too daunting, then...

#3, county mental health, again these guys are mandated reporters, proceed with caution, don't self-incriminate.  Same CPS warning here.

#4, local hospitals, talk to the admission department, they often have lists of reference that may work for you.

#5, your own therapist, if you don't have one, get one, you will likely need one.  

#6, Google Search, this is helpful for others.

Be sure to do self-care for yourself [my number one recommendation].  If you can't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of those around you.  It is like putting on your own oxygen mask in a distressed aircraft before putting one on your child.

Good luck, & take care.

[kells76]

Hello worriedparent, I want to join in welcoming you to the site. This is a place that gets it -- traditional parenting advice isn't always effective when your child is coping with BPD.

You mentioned that your S15 got a diagnosis -- I wonder if the diagnosing professional would be able to refer you to an inpatient program?

Also, many consider McLean Hospital in Massachusetts to be reputable in treating children and young adults with BPD traits/behaviors/diagnoses. You could consider calling them up and seeing either if they're a good fit, or, if not, if they can refer you to somewhere more appropriate for your son's needs.

So sorry this is happening in your family. It sounds beyond stressful. My H has two kids, 14 & 16, and teens are already challenging to parent.

Let us know how else we can be here for you;

kells76