Ready to give up

[Parents! Get help here!]

My daughter was born at 27 weeks. She weighed 1 pound 7 oz and was 12" long. She had 2 major surgeries And one minor in her 1st 5 months in the hospital. Since her birth I have always considered her a miracle. Looking at each Little thing she accomplished As something to be celebrated. She has been committed to 2 centers for months at a time, as well as many stays in the psych ward. Fast forward, she is now 26, and out of control. She lies, Repeatedly gets herself into Dangerous situations, Putting herself at danger as well as her family. She is a vulnerable adult, Emma diagnosed emotionally disabled as well as Physically and mentally. She says so many mean things to me, And is very unapologetic. I have supported her every step of the way. Done everything I can possibly think of to help her get well. It seems like she keeps sabotajing it. I would really like for once to just be her mom. The things I think are terrible. Right now I don't care if I talk to her or not, I am so Sick Of It All. I am so tired, And she could care less. What do other parents do When feeling like this? Should I put boundaries in Place? Should I just distance myself away from her for a while? Someone tell me what to do, I feel so helpless right now.

[Momma_bpddot]

My daughter was born at 27 weeks. She weighed 1 pound 7 oz and was 12" long. She had 2 major surgeries And one minor in her 1st 5 months in the hospital. Since her birth I have always considered her a miracle. Looking at each Little thing she accomplished As something to be celebrated. She has been committed to 2 centers for months at a time, as well as many stays in the psych ward. Fast forward, she is now 26, and out of control. She lies, Repeatedly gets herself into Dangerous situations, Putting herself at danger as well as her family. She is a vulnerable adult, Emma diagnosed emotionally disabled as well as Physically and mentally. She says so many mean things to me, And is very unapologetic. I have supported her every step of the way. Done everything I can possibly think of to help her get well. It seems like she keeps sabotajing it. I would really like for once to just be her mom. The things I think are terrible. Right now I don't care if I talk to her or not, I am so Sick Of It All. I am so tired, And she could care less. What do other parents do When feeling like this? Should I put boundaries in Place? Should I just distance myself away from her for a while? Someone tell me what to do, I feel so helpless right now.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[BonnieW]

I have also reached that point with my adult daughter.  I'm exhausted and especially tired of being her punching bag.  Today she imposed supervised visits with my grandchildren; with her as a supervisor.  I don't even want to look at her anymore. 

I'm walking away.  I've been on this roller coaster for too long.  I'm living my life now.  I might consider legal action (this is an option where I live). 

I don't want to live my life being called names (narcissist, bad parent, etc.) and walking on egg shells.  I've reached the end of my rope.

It's very hard for me, as I don't like to give up; I normally finish what I start with vigor.  This is an odd feeling for me.

I'm not sure that this helps your situation, but it has helped me to vent.

Thanks for listening.

Bonnie

[Titch]

Bonnie I too have walked away. My daughter is nearly 40 and still the accusations lies and names come at me (although done in a more passive way as since she has been on courses its not so aggressive).
Everything will always be my fault. But ive let my guilt go. Im 60 and need a life, as do you.
Give yourself love and time. Make plans. Lots of deep breaths and carry on!

[BonnieW]

Thanks, Titch, for your words of understanding and support. 

I'm going to make plans for myself, sell my business/retire, do some travelling and enjoy myself 

It's still a very sad situation, but comforting to know I'm not the only one who has come to this conclusion.

Enjoy your day.

Bonnie

[Warshire]

I feel your pain, it is so difficult.  We just want our children to be better and unfortunately we have to sit back.  We are always told take care of yourself first.  Easier said than done, when we only want to make everything better., but we can’t. Stay strong.

[Sumathunda]

I am here feeling the same way. Looking for the same answers. I am having terrible thoughts too. U both are in my heart!  All of u are in my heart!