Mother's Day

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hello, everyone. I'm just reflecting about having a child with BPD and Mother's Day.  Tomorrow will be strange. My daughter (24) was verbally abusive about a week-and-a-half ago, and I have not been in contact with her since. Our relationship is the classic abuse cycle over and over. I back off because she has been awful, eventually I re-establish communication because I love her and I want to have a relationship with her (and I'm an eternal optimist), she is great for a short while and seems excited to spend time with me, and then her behaviours begin to shift. I feel the shift, and inevitably she's swearing at me, threatening me, etc.

I had prepared myself for no contact from her on Mother's Day, but my husband has told me she got me a gift. Not sure I want anything, but also know that no acknowledgement will hurt, too. Having a child with BPD has really challenged the way I view myself as a parent. I know that I tried very hard, but of course every parent has their failures, and sometimes it's only the failures I can think of. Tomorrow, I would like to focus on the positive times I have had with my daughter and the healthy relationship I have with my son. I love them both a ton. But it's not easy...  To my fellow moms and mom-figures, I'm wishing you as best a Mother's Day as possible!  Let's be kind to ourselves.

[exhaustedmama]

Hello, everyone. I'm just reflecting about having a child with BPD and Mother's Day.  Tomorrow will be strange. My daughter (24) was verbally abusive about a week-and-a-half ago, and I have not been in contact with her since. Our relationship is the classic abuse cycle over and over. I back off because she has been awful, eventually I re-establish communication because I love her and I want to have a relationship with her (and I'm an eternal optimist), she is great for a short while and seems excited to spend time with me, and then her behaviours begin to shift. I feel the shift, and inevitably she's swearing at me, threatening me, etc.

I had prepared myself for no contact from her on Mother's Day, but my husband has told me she got me a gift. Not sure I want anything, but also know that no acknowledgement will hurt, too. Having a child with BPD has really challenged the way I view myself as a parent. I know that I tried very hard, but of course every parent has their failures, and sometimes it's only the failures I can think of. Tomorrow, I would like to focus on the positive times I have had with my daughter and the healthy relationship I have with my son. I love them both a ton. But it's not easy...  To my fellow moms and mom-figures, I'm wishing you as best a Mother's Day as possible!  Let's be kind to ourselves.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Aralia]

Thank you for that thought. I also hope you were able to see your daughter and had positive time.