New to this

[Smg]

I'm not sure how to handle,my son that is newly diagnoised with bpd. Having a converasation with him,is never normal. Im,trying to hang in there for,him,but not easy with all,the accusations etc, and him keeping the grandkids away

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

i Smg and welcome to the family. You mention your son is newly diagnosed with BPD, but I imagine you have been dealing with the signs and symptoms of this most difficult condition for a long time.

I am glad you are here for quite a few reasons. The first is that you can read others' posts and you will see communication is difficult - if not impossible - for all of us with a bpd child.

Then there are the accusations! I imagine you are amazed as most of us at what is said about us by our bpd children.

The difficulty is also compounded when there are grandchildren involved. They can be used as weapons against us - and even the fact there is a strong bond between us and our grandchildren can be enough to cause us to be abused and/or ignored.

You don't give any examples of the difficulties you are facing. Do you have regular contact with your ds and grandchildren for example.

Can I suggest that you take time to read the material suggested here. There are some skills we can learn about how to communicate with someone with bpd. In my case, my dd is usually triggered by most things I say - ie even something I think is quite 'neutral' could set her off ranting at me about a whole range of things that usually aren't true at all!

In my case I have learnt to not really engage in conversation with dd. This is strange for me, but it works much better than if I do. It is a way we can be together with less abuse.

I hope you will be able to give us a more specific example of what is happening for you. At the very least you know that you are not alone dealing with this awful condition.