I am just looking for validation that this was some sort of manipulation and that I wasn't being a total jerk to my wife as she said.
Manipulation, meaning an adaptation developed in childhood, when it solved a problem successfully, and grew into a persistent part of her personality, where it no longer serves its function and in fact seriously impedes her ability to form stable relationships.
Like Pricklypickly wrote, the fact your wife is upset does mean her complaints are valid.
Before you leave she begins to get upset (fear of abandonment).
For her this is a challenging feeling to express because it requires a sense of self to recognize that the self is not there. Your leaving simply draws attention to a feeling she experiences as near chronic because the abandonment is one of her abandoning herself.
You are the closest person so it must be you generating this feeling and you agree the problem exists outside her so therefore the fix must also be out there too.
It's hard to not jump through hoops if you were trained to do that.
You: "You know I'd love for you to come with me if you want, and we can have burritos there. And you know I'll bring one home if you'd prefer. Just let me know."
Her: Those aren't the answers I want. Now I'm mad about how you answered. You're a jerk. You didn't read my mind. I want choice F, you're mean to me. You never think about me."
You: "I'm leaving in 10 min if you want to come with me."
Her: "How can I go with you when my ankle is broken in 45 places and you're so mean to me."
You: "I'm putting my stuff in the car. Want to come with me?"
Her: "You hate me and I hate you. I won't be here when you get back."
You: "I'm heading out, I love you. I'll bring a burrito back for you, I know how much you love them."
Her: "Don't even bother. I'll be gone by then."
You: "I love you, I'll text you when I get there."
Staying in your lane is just as much about managing your own irritation and resentment. It won't fix or cure her reactions, which are now hard-wired.
Too much rescuing or fixing or pandering can also send a message that you agree she is incapable. Then she gets mad about that on top of the heap of things she's mad about.