Not crazy?

[Missingmykids]

I recently heard of this site after reading a book - it was more the title that caught my attention, “Stop Walking on Eggshells”.  Within the first chapter, I felt as though for the first time, I’m not crazy!  I live in the same midsize town as my son and his family.  We had a close relationship until after marriage.  Things starting getting tense, it seemed no matter what I did or said, it was wrong. I would try to apologize or resolve problems, my words were twisted or deemed insincere.  -   I have been informed that I am selfish, manipulative, irresponsible, untrustworthy, among other things.  I have a grandchild I have never seen.  It’s been so long I don’t think the others would remember me.  After reading about BPD, it described my D-I-L.  I love my son and his family dearly, including my D-I-L.  My heart has been broken not being allowed to communicate with anyone or even see pictures of the grands.  -  I don’t want to cause problems in their marriage so we quit attempting to communicate, as each time it made things worse.  -  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hi Missingmykids and a warm welcome to the group  Really glad you reached out for more support; I hear the pain and loss coming through loud and clear in your post.

How long has your son been married? And how old are your grandchildren? It's so difficult when kids are put in the middle of these adult conflicts, I get it.

When you would try to apologize, and when you were informed that you were XYZ, were those times in person? Over email? Phone call? Other?

And are you currently in a relationship right now? If so, how is that going? Is your partner/spouse supportive of you in the middle of this?

You're definitely not alone in being a grandparent when there's a SIL/DIL with BPD type traits and behaviors in the mix. Settle in, check out the other threads, and we're looking forward to hearing more about your situation, whenever works for you.

-kells76