Lying

[Goodpal]

My ex w/bpd has been attempting to get a hold of me and does extremely ridiculous things to get my attention - very obvious lies that are almost childlike in their simplicity. Do you think she really believes that I would believe these lies? She is a very intelligent person which makes it difficult to comprehend why she does this. It's like "hey I just one the lotto and am moving to Hawaii next month, just letting you know" kind of nonsense. Not that specifically but basically the same caliber. Anyone else experience this?

[kells76]

If BPD is involved, then there's a real mental illness in play.

One thing I've read here is that mental illness can impact how the brain makes sense of things, how it organizes and analyzes and synthesizes information. It might be possible for a disorder like BPD to impact the brain in such a way that categories of "true" and "false", "truth" and "lie", don't really operate for pwBPD -- or, maybe, not in the way the categories do for us.

Mental illness impacts an individual's relationship to reality and rationality. Different mental illnesses show that in different ways. A person with schizophrenia may articulate beliefs like "my mother is poisoning all my food" or "the CIA sends messages to me through my teeth". The content of those beliefs is so clearly divergent from reality that it's easy to point out the mental illness at play.

Sometimes, it seems that with BPD, the content of the non-reality-based beliefs (the feelings-based beliefs) isn't as out there as with other disorders -- i.e., your ex isn't telling you "the FBI paid for my trip to Hawaii" -- but the structure of mental illness impacting brain ability to process and individual contact with reality is still there.

BPD may impact her to such an extent that it doesn't really matter, in a "boots on the ground" kind of way, whether I think that she thinks that you would believe stuff or not.

What matters is what you choose to do with those situations.

How is it that she has a doorway to get your attention?

...

P.S. In terms of intelligence, there's no necessary correlation between intelligence and whether a person is impacted by mental illness, a PD, psych issues, etc.

When I had an active eating disorder as a teen, I was responsible, detail-oriented, organized, in advanced math, had a GPA >4.0, and was at the top of my sophomore class. None of that had any impact on my delusional belief that my body was too big and that I should engage in eating disordered behaviors.

[Goodpal]

Thank you Kells. You are right, I need to remember this is mental illness so a dysfunction of brain processing is at play. These lies are so unbelievable it really astounds me.

Yes, I let a doorway stay opened. That is my fault. After a week of no contact I have responded. There is something about her that is absolutely irrisistable to me. The no contact has been physically hurting me. Finally responding was like coming up for air after being submerged in a body of water. What does that say about me? I am trying, I am in therapy, I am acknowledging my past and present. There is simply something about this woman that I just can't get away from.

[ForeverDad]

If BPD is involved, then there's a real mental illness in play.

One thing I've read here is that mental illness can impact how the brain makes sense of things, how it organizes and analyzes and synthesizes information. It might be possible for a disorder like BPD to impact the brain in such a way that categories of "true" and "false", "truth" and "lie", don't really operate for pwBPD -- or, maybe, not in the way the categories do for us.

As in, pwBPD: My self-oriented perceptions are the Truth.
NonPD's logic and explanations are Lies, depending on my feelings & moods.

BPD is usually considered problematic but not necessarily judicially actionable.  Well, there are some murderers who prosecutors mentioned a diagnosis of BPD that end up in prison, but most others - as badly as they behave and act out - don't get committed to institutions either.

[Goodpal]

Thank you ForeverDad for clarifying that once again. That is the only explanation that makes sense. Feelings are the truth.