D11 Focusing in School

[livednlearned]

D11 has communicated that she has trouble concentrating in school, though being an A student, and a table leader for math.

What do you make of this?

Being an A student can generate a lot of stress. Having trouble concentrating is a different kind of stress, though they can often go together.

If her anxiety is about concentration, what is the nature of that challenge?

[Turkish]

For two years now, she's been harder on herself while her teachers don't observe this. Kaiser punted it back to the school. We need to follow up as we asked for an assessment. D11 sees a school counselor, but I think it's focused on SEL mindfulness and the like in a group setting. D also gets a little cocky saying she gets things easier, like when she even caught an answer error on a geometry quiz and the teacher had to credit her back the missed answer.

[Notwendy]

I was a good student and yet "tuned out" and was inconsistent with homework. I don't have ADD, but I think teachers would have suggested that if it had been more recent.

"Tuning out" was a way to cope with issues at home. I'd just daydream and stay in my own thoughts. Homework? Hard to do homework when BPD mother was in an angry mood. We weren't allowed to speak about her. I did tell the principle once about why I didn't do my homework. He called my mother in and spoke to her and nothing came of that.

Anxiety can look like ADD.

I think a reason we also did well in school is that- for the most part- school was a happy place for us and we felt safe there. I think it's good that your D is doing well and school is a positive for her - it was for us kids too. But it also minimized what was going on at home. We rarely said anything to people but a common response was "it can't be that bad- look at how well you kids are doing".

This also served to "normalize" BPD mother. If her kids did well, this reflected positively to her. It's complicated- kids are encouraged to do well in school for their own good- and this was good for us.

I am not saying that your D's reasons are due to what is going on with her BPD mother. There can be other reasons for not concentrating in school,  but that- it is possible that a child can do well academically and still have disorder at home.