Hello and thanks for accepting me

[Gober]

My 31 years old son has BPD. We are living together and everyday life is very difficult. I feel trapped and lonely. I want to help him but i feel my presence makes him even worse. He does not accept his difficulties and thinks the world is aganist him. He often says he wants to die and gets angry and agressive.  He's been on therapy for a long time and has improved a little bit but not enough.
He is very kind and outgoing with other people and even my family, brothers and sisters, don't believe me when I tell them my situation. They think it is me making things bigger.
My daughter, who is 27, is the only person who can understand me but i don't want to give her my burden. She lives with her boyfriend and we are in touch every day but she needs her space too.I
I sometimes think life has put me in a situation that is too big for me, that I can't handle... it is very sad.
I thank you for accepting me in this group, I am sure it will give me some light.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[BPDstinks]

welcome!  I feel bad for you that you are IN the group, , however, you have come to the right spot, this group is sooo welcoming and helpful! hang in there !

[Ourworld]

Dear Gober,
I can somewhat understand your predicament because a close friend of mine also lives with a son in his early 30’s who has mental illness.
She works 4 days a week, and has her own hobbies. We attend a lot of Christian concerts together.

So, my recommendation to you would be NOT to isolate yourself and go do things you like doing.
I do not know your beliefs, but she attends Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), they have a website.
She stopped drinking about 15 years ago, and still goes to regular AA meetings to mentor and for her own mental support I’m sure.
She attends a small church on Sunday morning-smaller churches are a great form of supportive friends.
And she and I go concerts and Christian movies. She lives an hour away or we would do more together.
You could even volunteer or take a part time job, things to get you away and show your son that you have your own life!

The only family in her life is her other son, so it’s not unrealistic about your other family members, just ignore them and do not even try and speak with them about your son.

My siblings, who I depend on to be there for my 38 yo daughter, who has cut me off for 11 years, do not seem to understand what my daughter is going through and some probably believe her deranged statements about me.
I don’t care really, I just hope they realize she needs help.

My friend and her son communicate via text messages now, she finds this keeps the peace. I think if you get involved in going places and doing things yourself, this will be better for you both.

I’m glad you reached out, that was step one!

I wish you peace and comfort, OurWorld