Son with Bipolar, Borderline personality disorder

[MTPockets]

Hello everyone, my son, now 44yrs old, has been diagnosed with Bipolar & Borderline personality disorder. He has just had another relationship breakup.
He always chooses foreign girls who's english is not the best, usually Polish, & usually with young children. This is the 4th or 5th victim. He then stalks them & bombards them with emails. Sometimes spending long hours outside their homes. This time he cooperated with her ex who was trying to regain visiting rights to his children by falsely reporting her to social services for neglect of her children. He poured water in the fuel tank of her car so she could'nt take her children to school. The police are trying to help her. Today I got her car fixed as she had been without it for 3 weeks. My ex is a nervous wreck after all these years & can't deal with it anymore. I said many times I wouldn't get involved anymore but I couldn't turn my back on that poor girl. I want this to be the last time.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Maggie EF]

I am sorry about what you are going through. Have you thought about telling the police what you know? The situation sounds dangerous.

[Ourworld]

I’m sorry MTPockets, but I feel like your son really needs to be somewhere that he cannot engage in these types of things. They are dangerous to him and of course the people he is stalking.

This is wrong, and it must be brought to a close. At 44 years of age, I would hope there is a legal way to handle this type of behavior to prevent scaring these innocent ladies and possibly resulting in troublesome issues for him.

Your first contact probably needs to be to your county mental health dept. and do what is needed for him. Granted, of course he will be angry at you, but just think, would you want some 44-year old guy stalking you like that and possibly ruining your car!

You need to be the bigger adult and take action now before it gets worse! This last lady could have reported him, and he could be going through the channels, which are not good for people suffering with MH issues.

I wish you the best.

[Sancho]

Hi MTPockets
I'm not sure why but I'm in tears reading your post. Have there been any consequences before - eg has he been charged with stalking or anything like that? You have all the details so I am assuming you are informed by someone about what is happening.

Your ds is of course very unwell and perhaps some legal consequences might help - or perhaps they have happened before and have not helped. I don't know these details - of which is sounds as though there are many details, many occasions when this kind of thing has happened.

I am so glad you stepped up to help the women. Not only will it help her practically but knowing that you were thinking of her best interest through all this would be a great help I think.

When our adult child's illness affects others, it adds another layer of pain on our already overburdened shoulders. I am really sitting here hoping that something in this latest episode will mean this is the last time. It is so important for you, your ds and everyone else involved.

Thinking of you . . . .

[Ourworld]

Yes MTPockets,

We can see that you have been so loving and empathetic for your son, and I am so sorry this has occurred!

In my situation, my daughter had married someone with mental illness from the military, she had begun ignoring him and he went into a bad psychosis that lasted for 10 months, resulting in a schizophrenic diagnosis and large veins that have bulged out from his frontal lobe!
My daughter finally left him after 6 months, she has blocked me for 11 years, and has now blocked him.

I am mentoring him, he never blocked me and contacted me a few months ago. So I am glad that you reached out and helped his last woman.

I sincerely hope you can get him into a treatment program and family counseling so he can overcome this behavior.

But my biggest concern is for you to not blame yourself and live your own life happily.

I wish you the best!

OurWorld