I can't see my grand children

[Aleonis]

My daughter has BPD and other mental health issues. She has 2 children who I have been involved with since they were born. My husband and I divorced and my daughter blames me for this and for her men tal health problems. I believe she thinks that's what caused her problems. We have always had a love/hate relationship  as she is nice to me for a while then I get "dumped". She then doesn't let me see my grandchildren as she knows it's what hurts me most. This has happened on and off and she always comes back acting like nothing happened but not this time
 It's been months now. I don't know what to do

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[BPDstinks]

oh my goodness, that is the WORST...I am terribly sorry to hear this (my granddaughter's mother has BPD (my daughter does, too), what are the chances? (not in a good way); about every 3 months she blocks me on FB/phone & says I cannot see the kids (I typically have the older two every weekend) this has been going on for 6 years; the first TIMES I cried, begged, drove to her, wrote her letters....fast forward, last time she did it, i said, "ok"; it lasted 2 weeks (she is NOT my daughter, so...i have a very odd relationship with her); however, she does this to HER mother & it is very, very sad (her mother & I take turns sneaking the kids to see each other when this happens (well...we used to, they are older now & tell!) in any case, I cannot say what I would do if it were months!  may i suggest...can you get any kind of "grandparent" rights via court?

[js friend]

Hi Aleonis

My udd has also stopped me from seeing my gkids. This is the 3rd time she has done this and has been the longest time because she has a new b/f and baby so she doesnt
 have a need for me anymore. There is nothing I can give her at this current moment so Iam out of the picture, ive been dumped as you say even though ive heard that my gkids still ask for me it seems she is determind to maintain no contact with me. It is early days for you and you are at the grieving stage. Its now been 3years since I last saw my gkids and it breaks my heart every day. In the beginning I was a total mess. I missed them so much that I couldnt think straight. I still  miss them but  I dont think that there is much more we can do other than look after ourselves both mentally and physically and just make a life for ourselves. The last time I saw my udd it actually went much better  than I expected because I didnt show any emotion although I was still hurting inside. Its such a shame that the kids are used as collateral damage by our pwbpd. I wonder if its because  they dont have a true identity and lack empathy in some cases, they cant relate to the stress they are putting onto our gkids by suddenly going no contact with us. It must be so confusing for them. I finally realised how far I had come when I walked away from my udd and left her standing at her door.  I dont think she quite believed it too,  that me, her supply ( some she would  belittle, argue with, gaslight, project onto and generally abuse) had truly finally gone I felt so empowered knowing that she was still standing at her door in disbelief when I just walked away.
Take each day as it comes Alenois because each day is truly one more day towards your healing.

For now i will continue to just hope and pray  for my gkids happiness, health and  safety.