Healing from Trauman and Setting Boundaries with Parents

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello, I am so happy to find this community. I have a mother with BPD and a father-figure with BPD. I was subject to emotional and physical abuse growing up. A couple of years ago I found out my father was not even my biological father, this realization motivated me to cut him out of my life (the emotional abuse continued into adulthood and destroyed my self esteem) and get help from a licensed professional, I have now gone no contact with my mother. I am working in therapy to re-process my painful memories so they will not continue to trigger me in my daily life. I sometimes feel sad and angry about my childhood being taken from me (I had to give up my childhood to raise my two siblings) and from the constant abuse I endured. I hope to regain my confidence and grow into the awesome person I know I am deep inside. Despite being the first in my family to graduate college and accomplishing my dreams of traveling the world, the constant blame, criticism and gaslighting have me in turmoil. Has anyone successfully cut out there parent? Do you feel sad on holidays ? How did you take back your sense of self and learn to thrive? How did you let go of guilt?  I'd love to connect to anyone else who has a BPD parent so I do not feel alone in this experience, I am sending love and support your way too! :D

[DancingMachine]

Hello, I am so happy to find this community. I have a mother with BPD and a father-figure with BPD. I was subject to emotional and physical abuse growing up. A couple of years ago I found out my father was not even my biological father, this realization motivated me to cut him out of my life (the emotional abuse continued into adulthood and destroyed my self esteem) and get help from a licensed professional, I have now gone no contact with my mother. I am working in therapy to re-process my painful memories so they will not continue to trigger me in my daily life. I sometimes feel sad and angry about my childhood being taken from me (I had to give up my childhood to raise my two siblings) and from the constant abuse I endured. I hope to regain my confidence and grow into the awesome person I know I am deep inside. Despite being the first in my family to graduate college and accomplishing my dreams of traveling the world, the constant blame, criticism and gaslighting have me in turmoil. Has anyone successfully cut out there parent? Do you feel sad on holidays ? How did you take back your sense of self and learn to thrive? How did you let go of guilt?  I'd love to connect to anyone else who has a BPD parent so I do not feel alone in this experience, I am sending love and support your way too! :D

[Turkish]

DancingMachine,



We all have parents with BPD or NPD and our stories vary, as does contact. I'm glad that you reached out to our community. It sounds like you've done well, despite, on a journey to take back your power.

What do you struggle with regarding taking back your sense of self?