Yesterday, my uHwBPD SUDDENLY became VERY LOUD, disruptive & childlike.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Seemingly out of nowhere, My uHwBPD donned a political campaign hat that he purchased months ago, and started dancing around while singing.  The song was something made up and nonsensical.He purchased the campaign hat, but says he has no particular allegiance to the campaign.  So the song was all over the place. He has actually told a few people (over the phone) that he purchased this  hat to irritate me.  It’s not the hat that bothers  me. It’s his behavior. He then found a song on his iPad, put the volume up EXTREMELY LOUD, and started to sing his made up words over it.  I let it go for about five minutes, trying to ignore him, but he was just too loud, and kept dancing around, literally getting in my face. I went into another room and tried to read.  He followed me, amping up the volume while laughing and singing.  I asked him to stop.  I told him he needed mental health medication — I was very irritated.   Apparently, upsetting me was the goal.

I had to get dressed and leave the house. 

I returned in about an hour, and he was calm.  I never mentioned the incident.  He moved about normally, as if nothing had happened.

It’s no way to live.

He went from calm to outrageous in minutes,  without warning.  It’s bizarre, especially because like me, this man is a senior citizen. 

I find it amazing that he’s still able to present as a normal person, in the outside world. I do believe some of his friends  must have observed some cracks by now, if only over the phone. 

Thankfully, I’ve firmed up a date to visit a friend and spend the night at her home.  Over time, I will do more of this. 

I have to continue to engage with friends and enjoy social activities without him.  He’s in his own world most of the time.

Minutes ago, he just told me he can be as silly as he wants in his own home, referring to yesterday.  Of course, I agreed with him. 

All I can do is take it one day at a time.

[JazzSinger]

Seemingly out of nowhere, My uHwBPD donned a political campaign hat that he purchased months ago, and started dancing around while singing.  The song was something made up and nonsensical.He purchased the campaign hat, but says he has no particular allegiance to the campaign.  So the song was all over the place. He has actually told a few people (over the phone) that he purchased this  hat to irritate me.  It’s not the hat that bothers  me. It’s his behavior. He then found a song on his iPad, put the volume up EXTREMELY LOUD, and started to sing his made up words over it.  I let it go for about five minutes, trying to ignore him, but he was just too loud, and kept dancing around, literally getting in my face. I went into another room and tried to read.  He followed me, amping up the volume while laughing and singing.  I asked him to stop.  I told him he needed mental health medication — I was very irritated.   Apparently, upsetting me was the goal.

I had to get dressed and leave the house. 

I returned in about an hour, and he was calm.  I never mentioned the incident.  He moved about normally, as if nothing had happened.

It’s no way to live.

He went from calm to outrageous in minutes,  without warning.  It’s bizarre, especially because like me, this man is a senior citizen. 

I find it amazing that he’s still able to present as a normal person, in the outside world. I do believe some of his friends  must have observed some cracks by now, if only over the phone. 

Thankfully, I’ve firmed up a date to visit a friend and spend the night at her home.  Over time, I will do more of this. 

I have to continue to engage with friends and enjoy social activities without him.  He’s in his own world most of the time.

Minutes ago, he just told me he can be as silly as he wants in his own home, referring to yesterday.  Of course, I agreed with him. 

All I can do is take it one day at a time.

[Notwendy]

Does he know about your plans to visit a friend? Could this be his reaction to that?

If he is a senior citizen and his behavior becomes bizzarre and out of character more frequently- he may need to be examined. PwBPD can also have age related changes- sometimes BPD makes it more confusing to figure out what is what- but he should have a medical exam to be sure if this continues.

Perhaps this is his reaction to current political events- it is an election year. Maybe he thinks this is funny. I'd let it go unless his behavior becomes more concerning.

[JazzSinger]

Does he know about your plans to visit a friend? Could this be his reaction to that?

If he is a senior citizen and his behavior becomes bizzarre and out of character more frequently- he may need to be examined. PwBPD can also have age related changes- sometimes BPD makes it more confusing to figure out what is what- but he should have a medical exam to be sure if this continues.

Perhaps this is his reaction to current political events- it is an election year. Maybe he thinks this is funny. I'd let it go unless his behavior becomes more concerning.

Thank you, NotWendy.

He doesn’t know about my upcoming trip yet.  And his head is always in a turmoil over politics.   

The LOUDNESS — enough to run me out of my own house, and the bizarre looks on his face when he does it  — is difficult to shake off.  But I think it’s good advice.  I’ll try.

He’s dishonest to himself about his health conditions on  all fronts, and would never admit to anything.  He does worry about dementia, and I see signs.  He’s impossible. 

I just have to live my life. 

I do so appreciate this opportunity to vent.

Thanks again. 

[jaded7]

Seemingly out of nowhere, My uHwBPD donned a political campaign hat that he purchased months ago, and started dancing around while singing.  The song was something made up and nonsensical.He purchased the campaign hat, but says he has no particular allegiance to the campaign.  So the song was all over the place. He has actually told a few people (over the phone) that he purchased this  hat to irritate me.  It’s not the hat that bothers  me. It’s his behavior. He then found a song on his iPad, put the volume up EXTREMELY LOUD, and started to sing his made up words over it.  I let it go for about five minutes, trying to ignore him, but he was just too loud, and kept dancing around, literally getting in my face. I went into another room and tried to read.  He followed me, amping up the volume while laughing and singing.  I asked him to stop.  I told him he needed mental health medication — I was very irritated.   Apparently, upsetting me was the goal.

I had to get dressed and leave the house. 

I returned in about an hour, and he was calm.  I never mentioned the incident.  He moved about normally, as if nothing had happened.

It’s no way to live.

He went from calm to outrageous in minutes,  without warning.  It’s bizarre, especially because like me, this man is a senior citizen. 

I find it amazing that he’s still able to present as a normal person, in the outside world. I do believe some of his friends  must have observed some cracks by now, if only over the phone. 

Thankfully, I’ve firmed up a date to visit a friend and spend the night at her home.  Over time, I will do more of this. 

I have to continue to engage with friends and enjoy social activities without him.  He’s in his own world most of the time.

Minutes ago, he just told me he can be as silly as he wants in his own home, referring to yesterday.  Of course, I agreed with him. 

All I can do is take it one day at a time.

Quite strange behavior JazzSinger! Seemingly designed to annoy you??

I agree it's childlike and disrespectful to be loud and in your face. You are both retired, and I've heard story after story for years now about how retired people can really get caught up in the political noise, watching the political news stations all day long, and getting really worked up. It's not good for mental health, even for non-disordered people. I read stories where families have been torn apart.

I notice that he said he can be as silly as he wants in his home. It seems like he recognizes that was strange.

Good to see you firming up plans for a brief escape.

[JazzSinger]

Quite strange behavior JazzSinger! Seemingly designed to annoy you??

I agree it's childlike and disrespectful to be loud and in your face. You are both retired, and I've heard story after story for years now about how retired people can really get caught up in the political noise, watching the political news stations all day long, and getting really worked up. It's not good for mental health, even for non-disordered people. I read stories where families have been torn apart.

I notice that he said he can be as silly as he wants in his home. It seems like he recognizes that was strange.

Good to see you firming up plans for a brief escape.

Thanks for your insights, Jaded7. 

Indeed, he knows he went too far.  I shouldn’t have to wear earplugs in my own house, or be chased from room to room, for nonsense. 

I now believe part of the reason for his “silliness” is that he hasn’t been taking his OTC sleep meds, so he hasn’t been getting much sleep.  Under these circumstances, he becomes even more impossible.   Sleep seems to be  only thing that kind of helps him be a bit calmer from day to day.  But he periodically goes off the sleep meds, complaining they’re no good for him, and then eventually , he starts taking them again, because he can’t stand himself, I think. 

I’m hanging in there.

And I’m getting a break soon. 

Thanks again.