TREATMENT: EMDR Therapy

[BPDFamily.com]

I'm sorry you feel like it didn't go well. Hugs.  I always, always, always felt worse after therapy with 9/10 of my therapists.  As such, I only gave most a few sessions before I quit.  The one I saw for a while, it was just a narrative therapy style, and it worked so well.  I don't know if I was just in a healthier place emotionally or if she was just that great... .but it felt comfortable even when it wasn't... .

As for EMDR, I'm still not convinced I want to try it.  I know people who swear by it... .  Even worked at a school where a therapist who practiced EMDR with kids said it was the BEST thing she'd ever tried.  I'm not against it, just not sure it's for me right now.  I almost saw someone who did neurofeedback with an expensive machine thing... .considered that... .  It's just easier for me to wrap my mind around physiological responses than emotional ones right now.  So, that's how I cope for the moment.  It might change in time.  Reading about everyone's experiences, positive and negative, helps though... .so thank yuo for sharing.

Hope you are feeling better by the time you revisit this thread.

[afraid2share]

I'm sorry you feel like it didn't go well. Hugs.  I always, always, always felt worse after therapy with 9/10 of my therapists.  As such, I only gave most a few sessions before I quit.  The one I saw for a while, it was just a narrative therapy style, and it worked so well.  I don't know if I was just in a healthier place emotionally or if she was just that great... .but it felt comfortable even when it wasn't... .

As for EMDR, I'm still not convinced I want to try it.  I know people who swear by it... .  Even worked at a school where a therapist who practiced EMDR with kids said it was the BEST thing she'd ever tried.  I'm not against it, just not sure it's for me right now.  I almost saw someone who did neurofeedback with an expensive machine thing... .considered that... .  It's just easier for me to wrap my mind around physiological responses than emotional ones right now.  So, that's how I cope for the moment.  It might change in time.  Reading about everyone's experiences, positive and negative, helps though... .so thank yuo for sharing.

Hope you are feeling better by the time you revisit this thread.

[george]

I am clueless from any personal experience, but as a person who's dealt with huge medical issues over last two years, you have to hurt before you heal.   I don't know how much you can apply that to EMDR therapy, but you are full of toxins that have to ooze out, I'd imagine, if you're anything like me with the complex PTSD.  It's all down in there. You have a wound that's gotten deeply infected and nectrotizing tissue, you have to re-open it, maybe even cut out some healthy tissue to get the thing on its way again.  xoxox  Surgery, like I had, hurts like a mother, but you have to have it to live and survive and improve and thrive.  xoxox

Maybe you ran low on the serotonin, too, that keeps you buoyed, after this experience. I have a friend who used to take Ecstasy in a therapeutic setting and it wipes you out, totally, like that, hence the danger of it being used recreationally.

All this to say, give yourself some time to heal from this T session and think if you want to go through it again. I face potential relapses, like I had last year, from my cardiac situation - gotta just suck up the hurt to land in a healthier place at a later date.   I know that's apples vs oranges, but the best help I could give you. You sound very down and hurting. Hopefully you slept and are better today.

[IWillOvercome]

I still feel crappy today. I'm a little concerned about the disassociation because I cannot remember 90% of my childhood, it used to be a big joke, how horrible my memory was. Not so funny anymore, now that I know why I have had a memory problem my entire life.  The little bit of memory that has been returning over the last couple months hasn't been very enjoyable and am a little nervous about what might be uncovered.

I haven't had depression issues for almost 6 years and now I feel like I'm walking through mud! If I feel this way after discussing a memory that wasn't even "recovered" how am I going to deal with the stuff my mind has buried?  How did you guys deal with recovery from your sessions? What did you do to help cheer yourself up?

I feel like its a lose-lose situation, if I don't deal with this stuff I'll continue to have dreams, nightmares, etc. and if I DO deal with this stuff I am depressed and find it difficult to do my everyday tasks!

[tine2]

Hi Jsthiel,

I'm feeling pretty low today too after my therapy appointment. I came home afterward and curled up in a ball on the couch. Sometimes it just sucks. I didn't do EMDR today, but I have in the past. The first time I did it, I had no idea what to expect. I was kind of afraid of what I might uncover and my mind went blank - completely blank. Like you, I have very little recollection of many years of my childhood. During EMDR, I expected something to happen, but instead I couldn't think of anything. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. My T. didn't push it for several months and then we tried again. Then we did it several weeks in a row and I ended up feeling pretty good about things, stronger, more confident, more in control. However, the major issue that we were going to explore with EMDR, I've still been avoiding. I still don't remember anymore about it. And I still don't think I want to. My T. goes very slowly with me for which I'm grateful.

Just go slowly, get some rest, allow yourself some downtime, do something nice for yourself. It's a lot to take on, and adding stress or expectations to your appointments as to what's supposed to happen or what you're supposed to remember will make it that much harder on you. Especially when you're afraid of what's buried. Just talk to your T. next time about what you're experiencing this time. And good luck! Hang in there. Go easy.     

[lynne67]

I have been doing EMDR with my therapist for about 1 1/2 years and it has been extremely helpful to me.  The sessions are often extremely draining and emotional, but have helped me more than anything else I've tried through the years.  I remember my first sessions being especially difficult, and I did feel depressed afterward.  But, the rewards of sticking with it have been very worth it.  I am able to process things very quickly, according to my therapist, and do have a decent number of childhood memories.  I have gotten to the point where I can use the EMDR on my own to make connections to the past that I don't think I would have made before.  I think it's inevitable to go through a difficult time when dealing with such painful memories and I have found that I have been grieving the past and what I will never get from my family.  But, the EMDR has enabled me to see the power I have as an adult, which has been life changing.  It has also helped me set much better boundaries with my mother which has been incredibly positive as well.  I wish you all the best and encourage you to stick with it.

[Dolphin]

Speaking of nightmares, I used to wake up in the night, sometimes a lot.  Sometimes really hot, which definitely attracted my cats.  Only rarely would I remember anything from a dream, but from the few times I did, and the pattern of when in the night it would happen, I eventually decided I was probably having nightmares.

After my P put me on a beta blocker (Tenex, one of the less popular ones, but I'm sure he had good reasons), I realized I was sleeping better.  Much better.  Hardly waking up.  Of course, my bp was 130/85 when he put me on it, which is borderline, and some doctors treat even borderline hypertension.  My normal had been 115/70.  I know it went up because of the stress of therapy and maybe one of my other meds, and my bp was definitely stress-reactive.  With the beta blocker my bp went down and so did my pulse.  Both are now lower than my previous normal.

Anyway, I mention that because it might be helpful.  It doesn't cure PTSD, but it does help make it easier to deal with therapy.  And it is probably also good for my physical health.

[blackandwhite]

My therapist suggested that we start EMDR after I told her about a series of traumatic experiences. She described it, walking me through the process, and I've read a fair bit about it. Still, it seems kind of mysterious. Any advice, experiences to share? I trust the therapist and she's very in tune with me; I don't think she'd push me beyond where I'm ready to go. Yet last night I had the first mother nightmare that I've had in a long time... .perhaps some anxiety about this?

B&W

[schwing]

Hi blackandwhite,

I haven't ever tried EMDR but I have a few close friends who have used this therapy before and I can share with you what I've learned through them.  For whatever reason (if there is any physiological basis for this therapy I am unaware of it) this therapy helps triggers feelings that are associated with old (and possibly suppressed) traumas.  This is supposed to be a good thing because suppressed feelings or as I see it, unresolved feelings from the past, can get in the way of appropriate feelings in the present.  And those feelings that are associated with traumas can be so overwhelming that a person might unconsciously choose to suppress them.

That said, expect to go through the motions of someone who might (re) endure those early traumas.  I think of it as a "do-over."  That you are feeling triggered just by the anticipation of this therapy tells me that some part of you is perhaps "on the verge" or "eager" to face these feelings.  You might expect some less restful sleep, or even sleepless nights, and other body responses (ie, raised blood pressure, hyperactive nervous system) to these feelings; prepare for that.

I know what it is like to feel as if you have tsunami of pain and angst to face.  Sometimes it is as if you are an recently hatched bird looking down from your nest on your first flight, about to jump into an abyss.  And you just don't want to jump.  Each time you look down, it only shrinks your resolve.

Trust that you are no longer the younger and less experienced person who had to endure those early traumas;  you are now a capable and strong adult who can weather these storms.  You have learned much on your journey thus far, and you are now given the opportunity to put these new skills to task.  Even better, you have a trusted guide, your therapist, who will be with you when it gets more difficult, though you alone must walk through the fire.  It is best to simply jump through, because sometimes the suffering from just the fear or anticipation of the pain, can be worse than the pain itself.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes, Schwing

[blackandwhite]

Thanks so much, guys. Schwing, I think you're right that I'm in some anxiety and fear about the unknown in this. I have a big memory block, about three years in which I have spotty memories at best. I don't actually think there's much in there that's beyond what I already know, but what's missing is the sort of day-to-day experience of all that misery. And that's okay with me! I'm not expecting the EMDR to dredge up repressed memories, but I do wonder what doors it might open. Coral, I also really appreciated that line of Schwing's. Trax, glad to hear it worked for you.  And I'll take the luck!

It does seem a bit mysterious. Nobody had any clear data on why it might work, as far as I can tell, but I'm willing to give it a try.

B&W

[tigerlily09]

I have been in therapy for two years now and I have experienced EMDR. You are reprocessing the bad experience with your therapist at your side... .hopefully this will help you deal with the trauma or traumas from an objective point-of-view. I've done EMDR a few times, and it has helped a lot.

[tedles]

Blackandwhite,

   I did EMDR for over 3 years, and it was worth every penny and every tear shed.  I don't know how your therapist is explaining it, but for me it was like desensitization. 

First, you have to have an emotional safe place to escape to if/when the memories become too intense.

Then, you focus on a particular old feeling or memory while your therapist stimulates opposite sides of your brain, (with light taps on your body, or lights or sounds).  You do that for a few minutes, then stop and free-associate what thoughts, memories or feelings that triggered for you.

If one memory triggers another, you move on and focus on the next, (with the alternating brain stimulation).

   In brief, that's how it works.  If it's successful, you find that the bad feelings become less intense over time.  You become emotionally stronger, and more capable of caring for yourself emotionally.

   EMDR is being used around the world for people who have experienced devastating emotional trauma, like wars, earthquakes, tsunamis, total loss of families and homes, etc.  It was used for survivors of 9/11 and the Oklahoma City bombing.

   My therapist, who travels around the world teaching therapists in other countries how to do EMDR, told me that victims of child abuse are much harder to treat than people who have had one-time devastating traumas.  He likens it to being a prisoner of war, where the trauma occurred over a long period of time, with many memories and triggers. 

Good luck.  It WILL be painful, but the pain WILL subside.  Each painful memory that you can soothe or discard is one less that you have to carry around the rest of your life.  Even if you can't get rid of them all, some is better than nothing.

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[blackandwhite]

Thank you tedles and tigerlily09 for sharing your experiences. It helps a lot to know others have been through it and found it useful.

An update: I had my first session and it was a very much as you described, tedles. The hour went by extremely quickly; I free associated about some things I generally try not to think about, and made some unexpected connections. So even if nothing magical is going on in there from the light and the sounds, it was worthwhile as a new format that is less logical and more spontaneous. I did feel pretty head-achy for a day afterwards. The next night had another mother nightmare, which I have to figure might be connected.

The desensitization part makes sense to me. I've felt that just telling my story in therapy and here as well, but it's hard to get at the stuff that's not even at the level of a story, if you know what I mean... .feelings and sensations or memories that are just flashes and don't make a lot of sense.

I look forward to continuing. Thanks again to all who have commented!

B&W

[anker]

I'm on my fourth session of it. It was odd at first but I believe its helping.

My t works with ptsd patients. I was referred to her specifically for emdr by the. Psychiatrist.

[GameGirl]

I went through 6 months of EMDR and it was great.  It got rid of nightmares and anxiety that I had for years. 

[tigerlily09]

I am currently in therapy for PTSD, and EMDR is used. It has helped so much. I don't do it all the time. The abuse I suffered was so severe that I have been in therapy for over two years now. You do need a T who know what they are doing. 

[trax]

Me.  And I say, if you can only do one thing make it EMDR.  It has helped me immensely. 

[love2007]

Thank you guys. I have my first appointment in the middle of march to get started. I'm nervous, but looking forward to it as well.

I had called my T for a referral for hypnosis, since I have been suspecting for some time that I might have some repressed memories and the triggers for flashbacks have been getting ridiculously unexpected and embarassing. For the longest time I said if I didnt remember maybe I was better off, but its getting frustrating and confusing. My T recommended the EMDR and hooked me up with a T that is trained to do it.

Wish me luck!

[rcoaster]

My girlfriend suffered a traumatic experience years ago and has spoken highly of EMDR Therapy, where the therapist uses eye movements to access the patient's sub-conscious, while the patient is conscious. This draws suppressed emotions out to be dealt with consiously. It is used often for rape and assault victims who suffer PTSD. I am certain that I have been feeling the effects of PTSD over the past 7-8 months. i am 2.5 yrs out of marriage with BPDxw, and it seems like no matter what I understand and accept consiously, that these memories are keeping me from sleeping well, and I feel "spacey" most of the time when I am in social situations, as memories of events with BPDxw continue to replay in my mind, many times per hour, all day long. I have done kinesiology with my holistic chiro, which has helped a lot, but not enough. read my other recent post, for more details: How long before you have HOPE and feel normal again?

My girlfriend also recently visited a Reiki healer who she claims was amazing. Apparently the woman was able to tell her about many of her experiences just by feeling where the energy from those memories is stored in her body. As I understand it, Reiki healers are able to find the the emotional energy that is stored in your body from traumatic experiences, and move that energy into channels where they "take it on" their selves, and expell by things like coughing, crying, etc. In other words they find the emotion, help you confront it and dissipate much of the pain in your body by taking it on them selves and expelling it out. I know to many people this may seem impossible, but after having tried many alternative methods of healing, and doing things like yoga and zen meditation, I believe strongly that we are all energy beings and these methods may hold some very valid and helpful healing for many of us who have realized how in-effective traditional therapies can be with certain types of people/situations. I think there are many methods of healing out there that work, but each not one works for everything. Am i making sense?

So, have any of you tried either EMDR or Reiki to address your PTSD or just general depression, anxiety, stress or to "cleanse" or defuse the memories and feelings of your past experiences with your BPD's?

I feel like I need something besides traditional "talk it out" therapy, as I've done it before, and one hour a week at $100/hr with someone who isn't as schooled in BPD as I am just doesn't add up. Suggestions? Stories? Please share! Thanks!

-Rcoaster

[1bravegirl]

Im no pro on this stuff but I think it really comes down to the whole body, spirit and mind approach. After all, Holistic healing is capturing our every essence of your being...   What makes you, "you".  That not only includes modalities such as these and different therapies to help you restructure your thinking to a more positive level but also our environment and what is around us and how toxic it may or may not be and our physical nature and what we put into our body has a huge affect on our thinking process, obviously as you probably know but also our social experience and of course our spiritual development and how connected we are to our higher power... for me that would be God i.e. our Creator... .So to really get beyond things at times and to be a healthy living being, free in the moment, we really have to address the entire process of the total holistic approach which includes body, mind, spirit and all that influence any of these factors... and we make the needed changes on a continuous basis... and that is no small task... let me tell ya...

Its on ongoing effort to channel the negative forces out of your life and keep filling yourself up with good things and focusing on the positive things...    the old adage... as a man thinkith  is so true... not only as he thinkith but as a man eatith and you are as good as your friends...   and all that good stuff... your as healthy as the air around you... .  you get the picture...     lots of work id say... How many times go you go out in the wilderness or explore Gods green earth?  Get near any waterfalls?  go to the beach.  One important thing is connecting with Nature and all that it gives us in return. so therapeutic indeed!  

But you are definately doing what needs to be done here... you are seeking for answers and help to combat these painful issues and that is soo comendable rcoaster!  I am soo happy that you are doing this and looking beyond the basics and willing to explore PTSD Therapy.

I dont know about your area, i know you said there are few Drs in your neck of the woods that can help, but they do have PTSD courses that you can take that address specifically the issues in a way that has had proven success in helping one overcome the flashbacks and the paralyzing feelings that can still hit us at times... I am starting one next month and was told that the statistics are very high for regaining control in your life after a traumatic event or events such as us...    

I hope you can find ones in your area that offer something like that that specifically encompasses dealing with PTSD thru group therapy.  I heard that is the best... and you dont talk about the past per se...   more focus on what you do want...    

Here is a clip I found on EMDR...    the Reiki got a little weird with the practices...    dunno... ?   buyer beware... .

EMDR INFORMATION... .

The therapist ensures that the client has adequate methods of handling emotional distress and good coping skills, and that the client is in a relatively stable state. If further stabilization is required, or if additional skills are needed, therapy focuses on providing these. The client is then able to use stress reducing techniques whenever necessary, during or between sessions. However, one goal is not to need these techniques once therapy is complete.

In phase three through six, a target is identified and processed using EMDR procedures. These involve the client identifying the most vivid visual image related to the memory (if available), a negative belief about self, related emotions and body sensations. The client also identifies a preferred positive belief. The validity of the positive belief is rated, as is the intensity of the negative emotions.

After this, the client is instructed to focus on the image, negative thought, and body sensations while simultaneously moving his/her eyes back and forth following the therapist's fingers as they move across his/her field of vision for 20-30 seconds or more, depending upon the need of the client. Athough eye movements are the most commonly used external stimulus, therapists often use auditory tones, tapping, or other types of tactile stimulation. The kind of dual attention and the length of each set is customized to the need of the client. The client is instructed to just notice whatever happens. After this, the clinician instructs the client to let his/her mind go blank and to notice whatever thought, feeling, image, memory, or sensation comes to mind. Depending upon the client's report the clinician will facilitate the next focus of attention. In most cases a client-directed association process is encouraged. This is repeated numerous times throughout the session. If the client becomes distressed or has difficulty with the process, the therapist follows established procedures to help the client resume processing. When the client reports no distress related to the targeted memory, the clinician asks him/her to think of the preferred positive belief that was identified at the beginning of the session, or a better one if it has emerged, and to focus on the incident, while simultaneously engaging in the eye movements. After several sets, clients generally report increased confidence in this positive belief. The therapist checks with the client regarding body sensations. If there are negative sensations, these are processed as above. If there are positive sensations, they are further enhanced.

In phase seven, closure, the therapist asks the client to keep a journal during the week to document any related material that may arise and reminds the client of the self-calming activities that were mastered in phase two.

The next session begins with phase eight, re-evaluation of the previous work, and of progress since the previous session. EMDR treatment ensures processing of all related historical events, current incidents that elicit distress, and future scenarios that will require different responses. The overall goal is produce the most comprehensive and profound treatment effects in the shortest period of time, while simultaneously maintaining a stable client within a balanced system.

After EMDR processing, clients generally report that the emotional distress related to the memory has been eliminated, or greatly decreased, and that they have gained important cognitive insights. Importantly, these emotional and cognitive changes usually result in spontaneous behavioral and personal change, which are further enhanced with standard EMDR procedures.

Hi rcoaster... it almost sounds like how the therapy program for ptsd was discribed but without the eye movement...    let me know what you decide...   you're in my thoughts...    1bg   best wishes on the Holistic Approach...     and eat organic!   

[Unreal]

FYI. . .


Depress Anxiety. 2009;26(12):1086-109.

Empirically supported psychological treatments for adult acute stress disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder: a review.

Ponniah K, Hollon SD.

New York State Psychiatric Institute, New York, New York, USA. kathrynbetts@hotmail.com

BACKGROUND: Acute stress disorder (ASD) predicts the development of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which in some sufferers can persist for years and lead to significant disability. We carried out a review of randomized controlled trials to give an update on which psychological treatments are empirically supported for these disorders, and used the criteria set out by Chambless and Hollon [1998: J Consult Clin Psychol 66:7-18] to draw conclusions about efficacy, first irrespective of trauma type and second with regard to particular populations. METHODS: The PsycINFO and PubMed databases were searched electronically to identify suitable articles published up to the end of 2008. Fifty-seven studies satisfied our inclusion criteria. RESULTS: Looking at the literature undifferentiated by trauma type, there was evidence that trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) are efficacious and specific for PTSD, stress inoculation training, hypnotherapy, interpersonal psychotherapy, and psychodynamic therapy are possibly efficacious for PTSD and trauma-focused CBT is possibly efficacious for ASD. Not one of these treatments has been tested with the full range of trauma groups, though there is evidence that trauma-focused CBT is established in efficacy for assault- and road traffic accident-related PTSD. CONCLUSIONS: Trauma-focused CBT and to a lesser extent EMDR (due to fewer studies having been conducted and many having had a mixed trauma sample) are the psychological treatments of choice for PTSD, but further research of these and other therapies with different populations is needed.

PMID: 19957280 [PubMed - in process]


Publication Types, Grant SupportPublication Types: Research Support, N.I.H., ExtramuralResearch Support, Non-U.S. Gov'tGrant Support:MH01697/MH/NIMH NIH HHS/United States

LinkOut - more resources

[Unreal]

. . .and not worrying about claims of mechanism,

J Altern Complement Med. 2009 Nov;15(11):1157-69.

A systematic review of the therapeutic effects of Reiki.

vanderVaart S, Gijsen VM, de Wildt SN, Koren G.

Department of Pharmacy, University of Toronto, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

INTRODUCTION: Reiki is an ancient form of Japanese healing. While this healing method is widely used for a variety of psychologic and physical symptoms, evidence of its effectiveness is scarce and conflicting. The purpose of this systematic review was to try to evaluate whether Reiki produces a significant treatment effect. METHODS: Studies were identified using an electronic search of Medline, EMBASE, Cochrane Library, and Google Scholar. Quality of reporting was evaluated using a modified CONSORT Criteria for Herbal Interventions, while methodological quality was assessed using the Jadad Quality score. DATA EXTRACTION: Two (2) researchers selected articles based on the following features: placebo or other adequate control, clinical investigation on humans, intervention using a Reiki practitioner, and published in English. They independently extracted data on study design, inclusion criteria, type of control, sample size, result, and nature of outcome measures. RESULTS: The modified CONSORT Criteria indicated that all 12 trials meeting the inclusion criteria were lacking in at least one of the three key areas of randomization, blinding, and accountability of all patients, indicating a low quality of reporting. Nine (9) of the 12 trials detected a significant therapeutic effect of the Reiki intervention; however, using the Jadad Quality score, 11 of the 12 studies ranked "poor." CONCLUSIONS: The serious methodological and reporting limitations of limited existing Reiki studies preclude a definitive conclusion on its effectiveness. High-quality randomized controlled trials are needed to address the effectiveness of Reiki over placebo.

[muddychicken]

I did it and it gave me the strenght to leave a 15 year marriage to an uBPDw... .absolutely incredible-got rid of the fear and the anxiety and put me in a place where her rages and FOG had zero effect on me... .can't explain it but as I said, it worked.

[rcoaster]

I did it and it gave me the strenght to leave a 15 year marriage to an uBPDw... .absolutely incredible-got rid of the fear and the anxiety and put me in a place where her rages and FOG had zero effect on me... .can't explain it but as I said, it worked.

Wow! Good for you man. I think it may worth a try then. For me, I feel like I am spinning in a vicious cycle-something triggers the memories of the trauma, I go back therein my mind, then it creates physical maladies such as sore tight neck muscles, then I start worrying about my health and how the stress has affected me, then I go back to the memories trying to pull out whatever I think I am missing, and it spins and spins until I am so focused on relieving the stress that it creates more stress. I really am trying to just exist in the moment these days. Used to be so easy, but now I just worry constantly. Its like the trauma is stuck in my cells at such a deep level that my concious mind can't get rid of it.

I am not an advocate of synthetics or meds to "bandage" up root causes of issues, so I have avoided that option and will continue to do so, so I am hoping Reiki or EMDR will help me.

[DreamGirl]

I did my first EMDR session last week.  

I wanted to recommend that you check out this workshop: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=65302.0

Along with this article: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=65383.0

The bi-lateral stimulation can be visual (a pointer, the therapist's fingers or a specially constructed light bar), auditory (tones projected through ear phones back and forth, from one ear to another) or tactile (the therapist alternates taps on your hands or you can hold two small paddles, through which a slight buzz is transmitted, from one hand to the other).

I didn't use the visual technique where you watch your therapist's finger go back and forth. I preferred to close my eyes but could feel them going back and forth after we began.  I also didn't use the technique with the therapist tapping on each side of your arms or hands (my memories include sexual trauma and thought it best I not be touched). I used the two small paddles which felt the most comfortable to me.  

I can't really offer up more than that since I've only just begun.   Being relaxed enough to begin was probably one of the more difficult tasks for me.

And I just wanted to offer up a big ol  .

~DreamGirl

[blackandwhite]

As background:

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of therapy that is thought to help people process traumatic experience. Essentially, you go into a traumatic experience while doing something that activates one of your senses across the brain, like watching a light travel back and forth or listening to sounds in alternate ears. (See www.emdria.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=56 and the workshop DreamGirl linked to.) There's good evidence that it works--it does help people get over trauma. There's not a lot of understanding of exactly HOW it works. From emdria.com:

No one knows how any form of psychotherapy works neurobiologically or in the brain. However, we do know that when a person is very upset, their brain cannot process information as it does ordinarily. One moment becomes "frozen in time," and remembering a trauma may feel as bad as going through it the first time because the images, sounds, smells, and feelings haven’t changed. Such memories have a lasting negative effect that interferes with the way a person sees the world and the way they relate to other people.

EMDR seems to have a direct effect on the way that the brain processes information. Normal information processing is resumed, so following a successful EMDR session, a person no longer relives the images, sounds, and feelings when the event is brought to mind. You still remember what happened, but it is less upsetting. Many types of therapy have similar goals. However, EMDR appears to be similar to what occurs naturally during dreaming or REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Therefore, EMDR can be thought of as a physiologically based therapy that helps a person see disturbing material in a new and less distressing way.

Druyan, in answer to your question, EMDR didn't bring up additional memories for me. It did exactly what the quote says--gave me the ability to cope with the memories I had in a less distressing way. It also helped me connect things that I hadn't connected before. I have a lot of traumatic memory loss, so I have fragments, feelings, sensations, associations, and some actual memories. EMDR made it all more coherent.

How are you doing?  xoxox

B&W

[joiesophie]

Hi D,

My primary T isn't trained in EMDR, so I needed to add another T.  It took me two tries to find the right T, but it has made a difference.  She did the auditory tones - I wore a headset and the 'beep' went from one ear to the other.  From my understanding, it 'balances' the brain. 

The most important thing is to have a T that you trust.  During the session, I would start out with one memory-and sometimes, one thing would lead to another, or we'd stay on the same memory. During the session, she would 'check in' with me to find out what was happening.  And I always had the option of stopping... .

Does that help?

js

It's made a difference - even though it does sound a little 'new age'. 

[Druyan33]

Druyan, in answer to your question, EMDR didn't bring up additional memories for me. It did exactly what the quote says--gave me the ability to cope with the memories I had in a less distressing way. It also helped me connect things that I hadn't connected before. I have a lot of traumatic memory loss, so I have fragments, feelings, sensations, associations, and some actual memories. EMDR made it all more coherent.

How are you doing?  xoxox

B&W

Doing OK. I spoke with a T locally that does EMDR but she doesn't take any insurance so it's too pricey for me at the moment. She is the only one I found in the area so far that does EMDR.

Mom called early this morning while DH was still out (he has our cell in the mornings) and he didn't answer. Again she didn't leave a message. I am just trying to figure out what to do next. My last T didn't really work out for me as I only was allowed 6 sessions. Just wondering what comes next I guess.

[hiddenlizard]

Thanks Skip for the bump. I had not seen this workshop.

I have experienced EMDR. I have found myself very jumpy and emotional for about a week following a session but I believe EMDR was a great contributer to my "escape" from the abusive relationship I was caught in with the BPD. I feel I was able to cut through the fog and see what really was, not what he told me it was. He frequently used my past trauma and the PTSD as "proof" that I was the one with the problem, that I was seeing in him all the horrible things that someone else had done, that I was mentally ill and no one else would want me so I should stick with him if I did not want to be alone for the rest of my life... .

I hope it is okay for me to mention another form of bodywork that has a great deal of use in treating trauma. I will include a "disclaimer" of sorts that I am trained in this method. Jin Shin Do Acupressure sessions have helped me access a lot of of my feelings about the events of my life and perhaps even allowed me a glimpse into possible reasons why these things have occurred. Much of this knowledge comes in metaphor, based on archetypes and other symbolic form. My belief is that looking at trauma and oneself in this manner depersonalizes it in a sense, making the information a little easier to "take". I have found myself in a sensitive emotional state for a short time after Jin Shin Do treatment but the discomfort was shorter lived than after EMDR.

Here is an article:www.jinshindo.org/healingaftertrauma.htm

Practitioners are listed on another page on the website. I wish there were more of them around.

[clean slate]

I have been doing EMDR with my therapist for a while now.  The installments that we've done have helped me.  There are other traumatic experiences with my uBPDh that I need to work on that we have not gotten to yet.  I'm amazed at the outcome for those that we have worked on, though.  The end result is practically a complete 180 from where I begin in the session.  I realize that's the point, but it still amazes me.  In fact, one particular traumatic episode we worked on -- I tried to focus on the episode days/weeks later and my brain would not let me feel scared of it.  I actually chuckled as I wasn't able to produce a fearful response... .not even a tear.  I think that's cool.

I use small disks - one in each hand - that vibrate alternately while you're remembering the experience.  I keep my eyes closed throughout an installment because it feels safer to me.

For the most part, my brain will not let me go back to those traumatic experiences.  I have blocked them out.  I instead remember good times or not-bad times with my H.  But in many circumstances in daily life since I left him, I have a panic attack or anxiety attack from what seems like an ordinary happening.  It is something ordinary, actually, but it was generally an ordinary occurrence that my H caused to be a traumatic event -- taking a shower, going to the bathroom, preparing dinner, washing clothes, sleeping, talking on the phone, driving a car, etc.  The EMDR is helping me to reprocess those traumatic events so that I can have full realization that they happened, but not feel panic, anxiety or fear from them.  Again, it's cool.

[yoshitx]

Quack Watch has had EMDR on their radar of less then scientific approaches to he world for a while... .

www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/emdr.html