Should I try to help her stop prostituting

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

To give some really quick background, I dated my exwBPd for 6 months , been broken up for 4 , found out she had been cheating on me after I caught syphilis, and then after looking into that found out that she was escorting / prostituting. She's trying to get an RO against me because I found out about her prostituting and she thought it would stop me from finding out more,but all it did was made me poke my head in a diff way  into the underworld she was in and the bad people in it who are now trying to hurt/silence me leading me now to get an RO against her .  Ive been NC for 3 months and I do still love her but know in my heart that I shouldn't be getting back with her.  I made friends with a security guard that watches the lot where apparently my exWBPd flips tricks ..I'm finding out that since we broke up she's been hoeing at least once a month and recently it seems has been doing it every week. My question to everyone is whether or not you guys think I should reach out and try to stop her. She is worth so much more than any man could give her money for yet I think she does it because it gives her some sort of validation . Every time I hear that she's there I cringe cuz I know what she's doing and think maybe I should send a text using a different number to tell her STOP! I know that our breakup was tough as I left abruptly because I found out I had an STD and I know she has abandonment issues but she wasn't doing anything to help me figure anything out and was still lying so I figured I had to leave the relationship for my own mental health.I know we both have ROs pending , but I really worry that one day she's going to get beat up by one of these dudes or worse. What would you guys do?

[samIam85]

To give some really quick background, I dated my exwBPd for 6 months , been broken up for 4 , found out she had been cheating on me after I caught syphilis, and then after looking into that found out that she was escorting / prostituting. She's trying to get an RO against me because I found out about her prostituting and she thought it would stop me from finding out more,but all it did was made me poke my head in a diff way  into the underworld she was in and the bad people in it who are now trying to hurt/silence me leading me now to get an RO against her .  Ive been NC for 3 months and I do still love her but know in my heart that I shouldn't be getting back with her.  I made friends with a security guard that watches the lot where apparently my exWBPd flips tricks ..I'm finding out that since we broke up she's been hoeing at least once a month and recently it seems has been doing it every week. My question to everyone is whether or not you guys think I should reach out and try to stop her. She is worth so much more than any man could give her money for yet I think she does it because it gives her some sort of validation . Every time I hear that she's there I cringe cuz I know what she's doing and think maybe I should send a text using a different number to tell her STOP! I know that our breakup was tough as I left abruptly because I found out I had an STD and I know she has abandonment issues but she wasn't doing anything to help me figure anything out and was still lying so I figured I had to leave the relationship for my own mental health.I know we both have ROs pending , but I really worry that one day she's going to get beat up by one of these dudes or worse. What would you guys do?

[grumpydonut]

I know what she's doing and think maybe I should send a text using a different number to tell her STOP!

How do you think this will be used against you by someone who is trying to get an RO against you?

[Rev]

How do you think this will be used against you by someone who is trying to get an RO against you?

Ditto - And I am sure that knowing that things are not well with someone that you love is hard.   And there is much wisdom in what Donut is bringing up her.

Tell yourself this - she's made it this far and likely you would not be the first to reach out to her.

Safest and best to keep your distance and heal.

What do you think?

Rev

[samIam85]

Im definitely the first to reach out if I did as I was the first one that put everything together and found out that she was doing it in the first place hence why she tried to get the  RO to stop me from finding out .. Now that we both know she's doing it the RO is meaningless for her other than it keeps her shame at a distance b.c. no one else is there to confront her about it.i feel like our breakup and the effect it's had on her custody is making her spiral downward and could possiblity even be why she's prostituting more frequently. . Even thou she fd up my life I still care and  just don't want her to get seriously hurt

[Rev]

Even thou she fd up my life I still care and  just don't want her to get seriously hurt

Hey there - I am hearing that you're hurting and that she's hurting. And I would invite you to repeat this sentence to yourself in the mirror, out loud. As many times as it takes for you to find the perspective.

There are few things in life that are more painful than watching the ones we love, suffer. And yet, there is a real danger in trying to save a drowning person if you don't know what you are doing?

How about spending some time talking to a therapist to get to the bottom of the nature of what is motivating you to reach out. Nothing wrong with reaching out, finding help. Talking things through with a therapist might help you pinpoint where your blind spots are so that you too stay safe - physically and emotionally.

What do you think?

Rev

[samIam85]

*lightbulb* yea I keep doing this - putting others before myself . I guess that's how I got in this mess to begin with...

[Rev]

*lightbulb* yea I keep doing this - putting others before myself . I guess that's how I got in this mess to begin with...

Hey slam - good moment of awakening. Be kind - don't beat yourself up - all of us here have made that misstep. Nothing wrong with trying to extend kindness to everyone - at least that's what I have learned in my own story. AND I am learning (still) to look before I leap now.

Hang in there.

You seem to have a good heart.

Rev