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Author Topic: Is this all my fault? Did I cause this?  (Read 44387 times)
otisjane

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« Reply #120 on: September 03, 2021, 09:22:46 AM »

Part of me knows I didn't cause this and all of me knows that if I had known differently when she was younger that I would have raised her differently.  She needs far more softness and empathy than I had provided for her. That's not because I'm a bad mother, but because she didn't come with an instruction manual at birth.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
otisjane

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« Reply #121 on: September 06, 2021, 04:32:32 AM »

 I had known differently when she was younger that I would have raised her differently.  She needs far more softness and empathy than I had provided for her.
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otisjane

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« Reply #122 on: September 07, 2021, 04:22:27 AM »

She needs far more softness and empathy than I had provided for her.
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wendydarling
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« Reply #123 on: September 07, 2021, 01:40:20 PM »

Otisjane so true my DD responded to softness, empathy and validation, that's where I started. After 6 years my DD has built understanding and resilience through DBT and therapy. And I wonder about BPD/ASD.... neurodivergence. I recently took part in a women's ASD research project and how females mask, present differently.  Virtual hug (click to insert in post)
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Leaf56
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« Reply #124 on: September 07, 2021, 03:33:28 PM »

Interesting. I gave my 25-year-old son a lifetime of softness, empathy, and validation. Made no difference and I doubt it would've made any in your child's life, otis. Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault.
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otisjane

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« Reply #125 on: September 08, 2021, 04:39:02 AM »

I gave my 25-year-old son a lifetime of softness, empathy, and validation. Made no difference and I doubt it would've made any in your child's life, Otis. Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault.
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otisjane

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« Reply #126 on: September 11, 2021, 04:18:09 AM »

so true my DD responded to softness, empathy and validation, that's where I started. After 6 years my DD has built understanding and resilience through DBT and therapy. And I wonder about BPD/ASD.... neurodivergence. I recently took part in a women's ASD research project and how females mask, present differently.  A virtual hug (click to insert in the post)
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otisjane

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« Reply #127 on: September 13, 2021, 04:14:28 AM »

Part of me is certain that she wasn't my fault, and part of me also knows that I wouldn't have raised her differently if I knew differently. She requires far more empathy and softness than I have provided. This is not because I am a bad mom, but because she was born without an instruction manual.
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otisjane

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« Reply #128 on: September 14, 2021, 07:00:41 AM »

I had known differently when she was younger that I would have raised her differently.  She needs far more softness and empathy than I had provided for her.
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otisjane

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« Reply #129 on: September 15, 2021, 04:09:55 AM »

 She needs far more softness and empathy than I had provided for her. That's not because I'm a bad mother, but because she didn't come with an instruction manual at birth.
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