|
KaiserSoce
|
 |
« on: April 08, 2008, 07:18:17 PM » |
|
Date: Oct-2014 Minutes: 26:47 Debra Lafave Interview with NBC Matt LauerI came across this today. I'd actually forgotten about this girl, as I'm sure many of us probably had. She made a really big splash into the public spotlight a few years back when she was arrested for having sex with one of her underage students. A year after leaving my BPD relationship, it was almost chilling for me to watch this. Chilling because of the familiarity. This girl says things that are completely consistent with a diagnosis of BPD/NPD (mainly, not taking any responsibility and the air of arrogant privilege), she makes facial expressions that I remember seeing on a regular basis from my BPD, she projects the reasons for her bad behavior on others, and so on and so forth. If you watch all 4 sections of the interview (watch the video link on the right hand side) you'll see that she's also given a diagnosis of BiPolar - the most common mis-diagnosis for BPD. Now, I know that I'm not a psychiatrist and in no position to make a diagnosis other than through my own experience, but I can't help but develop my own intuitions about this woman based on my own experience and the uncanny similarity between this girl and my exBPDgf. In any event - watch this and tell me what your opinions are. I'm very curious what you folks here on the board think. Does watching this girl bring back any memories for you? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
flamingo13
Guest
|
|
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2008, 01:02:34 AM » |
|
THAT was painful to watch. She had so many behavioural mechanisms going on it bothered me much. I will probably lose my lunch and have nightmares all night.
Me thinks we have a 'winner'... .'poster child' if you will.
I hope her xH and new soulmate find their way here.
Thanks for the memories, KaiserSoce! :P 8)
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
mtn
|
|
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2008, 08:14:27 AM » |
|
A little too hard to watch... .she looks like my ex 10 years younger... .without the ravages of alcohol and cigarettes and children. Even her childhood parallels my ex's. man.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
dramacat
|
|
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2008, 10:21:41 AM » |
|
wow - that was positively eerie!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mzb
 Offline
Gender: 
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 123
|
|
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2008, 10:26:18 AM » |
|
Evil, evil, evil, evil. This women makes me want to vomit! My husband was seduced by a 30 year old women when he was 12. She told him she was making him a man. He didn't even know that it was considered CHILD MOLESTATION! It screwed him up big time. Debra Lefave may have BPD but to me she's pure evil. She's creepy and ugly.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
shane
|
|
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2008, 10:39:05 AM » |
|
I watched only one of the video clips... .and I could barely stomach that.
I hope she doesn't have children of her own, I hate to think of what she would do to them!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married to long-term 9-year partner (also a non)
Posts: 22833
|
|
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2008, 11:50:06 AM » |
|
This brings up so much in the Bipolar/Borderline distinction.
In the interview she vascillates between accepting some kind of responsibility for the situation and regarding herself as a victim.
What is interesting is that the exhusband's friends tried to warn him about marrying her... . they saw something, but he didn't listen. And now she's got some other guy that she is engaged to! I'm sure he feels she was wronged (or changed) and he is protecting her.
I'm not sure what to say about the latest arrest... she works with the 16 year old... I don't know how you can work with someone without talking to them, but you can maintain a "just business" attitude, and she apparently didn't do that. But I'm sure she presented herself as a victim in that situation also.
Something about her just screams "borderline" vs. bipolar. That wide-eyed innocence, the baby voice, the whole "I'm a victim" demeanor.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
shawn
Offline
Posts: 6
|
|
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2008, 04:00:06 PM » |
|
I completely agree with your personal diagnosis. My ex-husband and my son have the exact same behaviors and attitude. They both have done horrible things and blame, blame, blame. Nothing and I do mean NOTHING is ever their fault and there is no compassion for others they hurt- none. Debra is exactly the same.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
shane
|
|
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2008, 04:37:45 PM » |
|
borderline, narcissistic, histrionic... .all three came to mind
is she considered to be a pedophile? or was the boy in question not young enough for her to be charged as such?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married to long-term 9-year partner (also a non)
Posts: 22833
|
|
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2008, 11:25:32 AM » |
|
She is a registered sex offender due to his age. As was noted in the interviews, if she were a male teacher and the student a 14 year old female, the teacher would have been locked up for years.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
CrunkChipmunk
|
|
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2008, 03:23:37 PM » |
|
Debrah in my opinion was not a BPD or a bipolar but something extremely close and in the Cluster B Personality Disorders along with BPD and that something is a Histrionic Personality Disordered woman.
Think BPD but without the rage or self injury and quite a bit more high functioning.
Same destructive relationship patterns though.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
mzb
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 123
|
|
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2008, 04:20:04 PM » |
|
Can anyone post a link to the video? Thanks
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
csandra
|
|
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2008, 04:26:34 PM » |
|
Interview with Debra Lafave (Video)
Here it is, I found it in a previous post.
What was so eery was that she seemed so content with her life the way that it is. It was almost as if she was talking of someone else, rather than herself.
When my uNPDxh referred to anything that he ever did wrong, he would always speak in the third person.
Darn, the link didn't transfer. Look at earlier post , on first page.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
mzb
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 123
|
|
« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2008, 06:36:24 PM » |
|
Ok, it's there. Thanks csandra.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
salt
|
|
« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2008, 09:23:29 PM » |
|
Two things really jumped out at me:
She says: "I committed a sex offence, but I am not a sexual offender" HUH? Talk about not fully accepting responsibility.
The other, regarding her victim;"I don't think of him at all"
I agree that she is likely BPD. It was hard to watch.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
bassman82
|
|
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2008, 03:49:59 AM » |
|
wow-yeah can see what you mean. She should totally be in jail; so many contradictions I liked how the reporter kept pointing them out. Yep kept trying to make herself the victim, I think the end is just sad I was a good kind hearted person for 23 years and nothing was wrong (besides the episodes of mania, supposedly being raped, trying to kill herself twice, sounds like everything was just peachy before).
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married to long-term 9-year partner (also a non)
Posts: 22833
|
|
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2008, 09:26:29 AM » |
|
Debrah in my opinion was not a BPD or a bipolar but something extremely close and in the Cluster B Personality Disorders along with BPD and that something is a Histrionic Personality Disordered woman.
Think BPD but without the rage or self injury and quite a bit more high functioning.
Same destructive relationship patterns though.
Well... . she had tried to kill herself when she was younger, and there is something very self-destructive about having sex with an underaged student when you are a teacher... . She claimed things were going so well between her and the h, supposedly her career was going well, but she had to do something that would blow the marriage and the career apart. As to the raging, well, we really don't know. Her husband didn't mention any rages, but who knows what it was like to live with her. Also, some with BPD don't rage... they just engage in unacceptable behaviors and/or get into waif/hermit modes. "Waif" types do not necessarily rage. I've always thought that trying to distinguish among the Cluster B's over someone's lifetime is difficult anyway. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
csandra
|
|
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2008, 09:48:57 AM » |
|
Who on earth is financially supporting her ? I presume that her new job pays less than a teacher's salary and even on a teacher's salary... .my gosh... .swimming pool, well landscaped yard, still dresses well.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married to long-term 9-year partner (also a non)
Posts: 22833
|
|
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2008, 01:28:02 PM » |
|
She has a boyfriend or a fiance... . I think she referred to him as a fiance.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
mzb
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 123
|
|
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2008, 03:30:29 PM » |
|
Watching these videos was very disturbing. It shook me somewhere deep in my person... .heart, soul... .I'm not sure where but, as I stated earlier, there was an air of evil. I agree that she seems to have BPD. It also seems to me that she has Anti Social Personality Disorder. She shows no remorse and seems to have a complete lack of empathy for her victim/victims.
She did do what she set out to do though. She definately taught her students about rape!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
healinghome
|
|
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2010, 02:52:48 AM » |
|
its such a sick system thats set up. the media is rife with sexualized images and subliminal messages, then when people crack up from the pressure they are condemned. sure, her actions are her own responsibility, but the media slips into the background again and no one notices. sick.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Lizzie
|
|
« Reply #24 on: July 03, 2010, 12:11:49 AM » |
|
Interesting read, I noticed at the very end, her now e-husband said that he thought they were "soul mates". |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Mousse
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 2328
Channeling Lorelai...
|
|
« Reply #25 on: July 03, 2010, 08:02:29 AM » |
|
its such a sick system thats set up. the media is rife with sexualized images and subliminal messages, then when people crack up from the pressure they are condemned. sure, her actions are her own responsibility, but the media slips into the background again and no one notices. sick. Most people are hooked into the media, and I'd say a large amount of it is trashy. :)espite that, most people don't do this. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Freedom begins with an act of defiance. Pain is part of life, but suffering is a choice. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) - National Domestic Violence Hotline (USA)
  |
|
|
|
healinghome
|
|
« Reply #26 on: July 03, 2010, 01:12:40 PM » |
|
Most people are hooked into the media, and I'd say a large amount of it is trashy. Despite that, most people don't do this. yes, with many other people the pressure comes out in other ways, on one end of the spectrum there are disorders like BPD, obsessive compulsive disorder or passive/aggressive behaviour etc, while the other end has more socially acceptable behaviour like hit_ing or depression. everyone is accountable for their own behaviour, when they are put in a pressure cooker environment i feel some accountability should be taken by society, or at the very least for people to understand its place in all this. no man is an island. what she did was wrong. she used her authority to manipulate a child to feel a sense of personal power and she shows no sorrow or accountability for that, which makes her continue to be a threat to children. but why her? she said another teacher did the same thing 2 days after her and wasn't targeted by the media. smacks of scapegoating to me. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
frtbt2
|
|
« Reply #27 on: July 04, 2010, 10:47:38 PM » |
|
wow. This makes me livid, I hate that people use mental illness as an excuse the way they do "it's not my fault, I have such and such"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
PotentiallyKevin
|
|
« Reply #28 on: July 05, 2010, 07:57:49 PM » |
|
Holy borderline... .wow wow wow, this reminds me of my relationship... .
... ."promise?"
... ."yeah"
... ."pinky promise"
... ."yeah"
... ."come on! say PINKY PROMISE"
OMG... .the dialogue is identical... .I think I am going to go
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
po·ten·tial adj.
1. Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent: a potential greatness.
2. Having possibility, capability, or power.
3. The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being.
4. Something possessing the capacity for growth or development.
|
|
|
an0ught
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender: 
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 5048
|
|
« Reply #29 on: July 06, 2010, 01:23:33 AM » |
|
Ok, let us think about this for a moment: Boy rapes her in 8th grade. Could have happened but:
Which female teacher walks into the boys bathroom?
So it was the girls or the teacher's bathroom.
What boy gets the idea to force a girl to come with him there?
So she likely had a say in it.
And she did go into the bathroom to
... .kiss?
And it was your boyfriend
... .ahh one of your boyfriends.
The teacher let you off the hook?
She did not realize that I was raped... .
Only raped party here was the truth. Makes me
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
 Writing is self validation. Writing on bpdfamily is self validation squared!
|
|
|
|
Poll
