SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[jen]

My score today is 56 - I did think it would be lower than that BUT I AM PLEASED IT IS COMING DOWN!

I am working hard with my therapist to try and heal myself.

Here's what I have learned so far: -

Mother never loved me - I have come to terms with that sort of, but I don't know why.

I feel and felt unloved and worthless.  Empty.

I am beginning to understand the feelings I have.

I don't love or like myself at all - but I am making an effort to do so.

My H and I have had a passionate/volatile relationship fuelled by my Mother and her poison.

I have accepted the bad behaviour from my Mother, Step Dad, Sister and Husband by being passive - never letting my needs/feelings be heard.

I am scared of conflict & will try and do anything to avoid it.

I love my daughters but hate saying NO to them - a sign of passive behaviour.

I have always seeked my

[NHBeachBum]

3 years out and I got a 3! Nothing like NC! The only reason I got above a 0 is because I'm tired a bit because I'm trying to do so much stuff all the time, work, gym, beach, skiing, surfing, playing guitar. Who has time to sleep? Maybe I should move it to a 4?

[shallowval33]

I'm at 70. I can't get through these stages. No amount of counseling is going to make my heart feel better. I cry everyday. The more time that goes by, the worse I feel. Now my son is starting to show signs that he's been affected by his stepfathers sudden desertion of us.  Our 8th anniversary would have been on the 10th of April.

[VB]

Did the test again today.

On 9/3/10 it was 64

On 10/4/10 it was 14

In 1 month after finally getting him out of my life I have improved in leaps and bounds!

[Skip]

I'm at 70. I can't get through these stages. No amount of counseling is going to make my heart feel better. I cry everyday. The more time that goes by, the worse I feel. Now my son is starting to show signs that he's been affected by his stepfathers sudden desertion of us.  Our 8th anniversary would have been on the 10th of April.

Therapy will not make the problem go away - you are right.  It might help you deal with it a little better.  70 is a dangerous level.

Have you seen a psychiatrist for a meds evaluation.  It's just 1 visit and its a good place to start.  Get something to help with the chemical imbalance of your depression.

If you are not ready to see a therapists just yet, try this book.  It is recognized as the best book for depression by therapist - they have even done clinical studies on how reading the book helps.

https://bpdfamily.com/book_review/david_burns.htm

I check our book auction today and saw that on supplier has it for $3.18 plus shipping.

Know that we are hear for you 24/7  xoxox

[Matt]

I'm at 70. I can't get through these stages. No amount of counseling is going to make my heart feel better. I cry everyday. The more time that goes by, the worse I feel. Now my son is starting to show signs that he's been affected by his stepfathers sudden desertion of us.  Our 8th anniversary would have been on the 10th of April.

Therapy will not make the problem go away - you are right.  It might help you deal with it a little better.  70 is a dangerous level.

Have you seen a psychiatrist for a meds evaluation.  It's just 1 visit and its a good place to start.  Get something to help with the chemical imbalance of your depression.

If you are not ready to see a therapists just yet, try this book.  It is recognized as the best book for depression by therapist - they have even done clinical studies on how reading the book helps.

I check our book auction today and saw that on supplier has it for $3.18 plus shipping.

Know that we are hear for you 24/7  xoxox

Seeing a psychiatrist for a meds evaluation - that's what I did when I was at my lowest point, and I'm really glad I did!

Skip, what book are you referring to?

[Skip]

Skip, what book are you referring to?

Opps.

Feeling Good by David Burns, MD

https://bpdfamily.com/book_review/david_burns.htm

I added the link to my post above.

Burns is from Stanford.  The have actually compared populations with therapy, those that just read the book (bibliotherapy) and those without either.  People that read the book showed significant signs of improvement.

[shallowval33]

Therapy will not make the problem go away - you are right.  It might help you deal with it a little better.  70 is a dangerous level.

Have you seen a psychiatrist for a meds evaluation.  It's just 1 visit and its a good place to start.  Get something to help with the chemical imbalance of your depression.

If you are not ready to see a therapists just yet, try this book.  It is recognized as the best book for depression by therapist - they have even done clinical studies on how reading the book helps.

I check our book auction today and saw that on supplier has it for $3.18 plus shipping.

Know that we are hear for you 24/7  xoxox

After 97 days of nonstop crying, I finally gave in to anti-depressant meds. This is just so hard. I feel like I got hit in the face with a ton of bricks. Its as if the last 8 years never even happened. My son just lost his best friend in a horrific car accident. Normally, when upset, he could go to his stepfather for guidance and comfort. He didn't even get a phone call from my ex. Not even a phone call... .My son feels so abandoned. How could someone do that?

[sandyb]

52 today, crikey this isn't good.

[Bish]

Scored 11

Not bad for someone only two months out of Oz 

Of course if I didn't have Fibro I'd have only scored 9

*does a little happy dance*

[kj1234]

Back up to 25 and sometimes feeling worse recently.  And a few weeks ago I seemed to have it all together for a while.  Gotta force myself back into the good routine.  A good, productive day today seemed to help some.

Hang in there, shallowval.

[clean slate]

First time taking the test and I scored a 60.  I'm a bit shocked that it was that high of a number.  But, I'm in therapy and also seeing a psychiatrist.  I'm on a daily antidepressant as well as prescribed sleep aid.  I'm working through it.  I'll plan to take the test again next month, and the month after that, etc., to hopefully see my score decrease.  It all takes time.  (This is me trying to be positive.)

[justhere]

Dec 13/09 ... .50

Dec 30/09 ... .59

Mar   1/10 ... .50

May 19/10 ... .31

Looks like I'm going in the right direction. I'm more relaxed now and smiling more.

I'm not constantly focused on my mother or sister.

I'm getting my head back.

justhere

[Zardoz]

Extremely Depressed.

Nearly 4's across the board.

[jpounce]

   Scored a 26 today.  I don't know really if I will ever be the way I always used to be.

   This is so frustrating. I've never in my life felt like this when a relationship ended.  Its been nearly 6 months and some days are good, others I simply cant get her or the relationship out of my head. This is truly the most illogical strange and seemingly unforgettable  thing that has ever happened to me in my 50 years on the planet. Life goes on, but she, and this whole BPD experience... .has been life changing.

Its like a big part of me is just gone. ?

[jalk]

Hate to say it... .maybe just a bad day but I honestly do not believe so. I scored a 50.

[justhere]

I thought I just check and see how I was doing.

I was 50 back in Dec 09

Today 13 ( 1 1/2 years from my awareness of the mental illness and abuse)

I had to check it 3x to be sure.

justhere

[Matt]

8/24/08  19  (A few weeks after my divorce was final, and a week before my son got in big trouble.)

6/30/09  28

8/25/09  21

9/15/09  15

12/6/09  20

2/12/10  17

4/2/10    7

Today     4

[Believe]

8/24/08  19  (A few weeks after my divorce was final, and a week before my son got in big trouble.)

6/30/09  28

8/25/09  21

9/15/09  15

12/6/09  20

2/12/10  17

4/2/10    7

Today     4

AND

I thought I just check and see how I was doing.

I was 50 back in Dec 09

Today 13 ( 1 1/2 years from my awareness of the mental illness and abuse)

I had to check it 3x to be sure.

justhere

Those are such inspiring posts!

I have to say that I probably vary that much day-to-day right now! Today has been a fabulous day, filled with all sorts of fun distractions from how much I miss my ex uBPD (9+ weeks NC) and how hopeless I sometimes feel about that. So, today, I'm an 11. Two days ago, after I had an unsolicited lovey dovey message from my ex in my Inbox, well, I was more like a 34. One day, I hope to be more even keeled. Right now, I'm just grateful for wonderful days like today.

[kj1234]

12/8/09:  High, but didn't record

1/8/10: 18

3/7/10: 15

4/17/10: 25 (aftermath of tax day?)

9/9/10: 15

Some of the questions are starting to sound foreign to me.  They didn't before.  That's good.

[Matt]

Some of the questions are starting to sound foreign to me.  They didn't before.  That's good.

I had that reaction today too!  Some of them, I think, why would I feel like that?  And I roll my eyes and put 0.

But not so long ago I was at 2 or 3 or 4 on those same items!

[kj1234]

Same with me.  I remember when I got the same score in the past I made a note that when in doubt I was leaning to the low side in picking my number.  No need this time.  And no drugs either now.

[speed of dark]

A 26 and I thought I was having a bad day.  I will have to try this next week after the latest BP weirdness fades out.  It is huge progress that fallout from the BP incident bother me for a day or two and then I am done.

[justwantout]

Got a 20... .not surprising, I'm feeling a little down.  Not thinking about him, just feel stagnant... .33 is probably too young to give up on love but I really just don't believe it exists right now, I can't figure out how to trust again.

[AnalogGuy]

Wow.  I took this test two years ago and got a 58.  I just took it today and got an 8!  I truly, in my bones, felt I would never be happy again when I was going through the worst of my drama two-and-a-half years ago.  I want to tell everyone getting better IS possible.  Meeting new friends, trying new activities an improving your life IS possible.  It is even possible to have a healthy, life-affirming relationship (which I've now been in for a year... .amazing!).  What I'm trying to say is hang in there everyone!  Keep taking steps to your own freedom and happiness.  I promise you it is out there, and it's worth it!

AG

[DAS]

54... .

[InJourneyThroughOz]

17... .

Didn't know I had mild depression, knowing it caused me: Mild Depression.   

[Crystal Ball]

23

I still have some bad days that creep up where I feel guilty for breaking up with my uBPDxbf.  I'm also have difficulty comprehending that the relationship 'wasn't real'.  I have been reading a lot of books and working on me.  Currently in search of a good therapist.

[gutzgutz]

Over 50.

This is worrying, on the other hand it matches my age.

I am fashion conscious!

[1q2w3e]

crap, 50

over the past 2 weeks, I've been seriously considering divorce... .depressing as there's a child involved