Is a personality disorder a mental illness or a character flaw?

[BPDFamily.com]

Who would Choose to act Crazy? BPD Is Not Choosen Its a horrible Mental Illness that People develop from Horrible Up bringings and being mis treated when they are younger...   I know its not a choice if it was then I don't think my DBPDH would continue to cry for help and try as hard as he does to be normal for once...  He hates that he deals with this every day...  It kills him inside. It SUCKS. And often people with BPD are just thrown on the back burner...  To difficult to treat many say...  Or made out to be monsters...  I honestly think they need a Solid support system behind them. Not people who back their thoughts up by basically running from them or saying they are horrible, When in my husbands case he has not one good thing to say about himself...  Why add to the negitive thoughts? Continue the positive I find it helps to reasure him that he does have some good about him and hes not useless and hopeless.

Just my opinion...  

My daughter had neither a horrible upbringing nor was she ever mistreated as a child, so I struggle even more to understand why she has this illness. 

[Verbena]

Who would Choose to act Crazy? BPD Is Not Choosen Its a horrible Mental Illness that People develop from Horrible Up bringings and being mis treated when they are younger...   I know its not a choice if it was then I don't think my DBPDH would continue to cry for help and try as hard as he does to be normal for once...  He hates that he deals with this every day...  It kills him inside. It SUCKS. And often people with BPD are just thrown on the back burner...  To difficult to treat many say...  Or made out to be monsters...  I honestly think they need a Solid support system behind them. Not people who back their thoughts up by basically running from them or saying they are horrible, When in my husbands case he has not one good thing to say about himself...  Why add to the negitive thoughts? Continue the positive I find it helps to reasure him that he does have some good about him and hes not useless and hopeless.

Just my opinion...  

My daughter had neither a horrible upbringing nor was she ever mistreated as a child, so I struggle even more to understand why she has this illness. 

[Auspicious]

My daughter had neither a horrible upbringing nor was she ever mistreated as a child, so I struggle even more to understand why she has this illness.  

Science is still struggling to figure out the etiology. I believe the current theory is that it is a combination of genetic predisposition and environmental factors.

If so, that would likely mean that any number of possible percentages could occur ...  1%/99%, 40%/50%, who knows?

In his book about depression - another mental illness where they are trying to figure out the etiology - Perter Kramer talks about resilience. Someone with a high intrinsic (i.e. genetic) resilience can bounce back from X amount of stress. Someone with low resilience can't. So "is it the stress, or the genetics?" isn't a yes/no question.

Nobody has zero stress in their upbringing (or adult life). Everyone experiences some invalidation, disappointment, loss, separation, pain. It's unavoidable. How we react to it - how we even can react to it - is largely affected by our genetics.

[Auspicious]

In his book about depression - another mental illness where they are trying to figure out the etiology - Perter Kramer talks about resilience. Someone with a high intrinsic (i.e. genetic) resilience can bounce back from X amount of stress. Someone with low resilience can't. So "is it the stress, or the genetics?" isn't a yes/no question.

Sorry, that's Peter Kramer - not "Perter" Kramer 

[KMS]

It's a mental illness. 

//Mental Illness implies somewhat psychotic or non reality or simply paranoia type of mindset... too harsh a term?//

No, that's not what mental illness means.  That's the incorrect social stigma.  Depression is a mental illness.  You do NOT have to be psychotic ("crazy") to have a mental illness.

[KMS]

My daughter had neither a horrible upbringing nor was she ever mistreated as a child, so I struggle even more to understand why she has this illness.  

I don't think BPD comes from life experiences.  I think it because of the brain not being "wired correctly".  Just as mood disorders are from the same thing or an imbalance of neurotransmitters. Now, your life experiences can certainly make things better or worse, but I don't think they are the underlying cause.

[qcarolr]

This is similar to experiencing that some kids are more resilient than others, really from birth. Snuggle, get on routine better, have similar experiences-process them with 'regular' parenting responses-move on. Less resilient kids seem to have a built in resistance to comfort. They perceive things at a higher emotional level and need a much deeper calming response from their caregivers to process the perceived 'trauma', integrate it into their life story and move on. Sometimes no matter how good the caregiver is with these loving skills, the 'normal' experiences can be processed in an out-of-balance brain as trauma.

There is so much new info from neuroscience research being published in the past few years. It is now being integrated into other publications in fields like education and psychology. It verifies the positive results of some existing theories and methods; it invalidates others. It is a very exciting time of hope for our kids and for our families. The other hopeful thing is the brain has flexibility to change (plasticity).

The tools and skills on bpdfamily.com fit in the 'verified' side of neuroscience from what I have studied. The hope I have is very real, even though my DD is 28 and currently in jail. As I let go of my judging attitudes and practice validation and unconditional love for her our relationship has improved. She is beginning to accept her part in where she is in her life - accepting responsibility gives her the power to change from the inside out.

qcr