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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Allowing the winds of change to blow through our lives  (Read 486 times)
PDQuick
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Don't look outside for the answers within.


« on: March 19, 2009, 03:57:41 PM »

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” Another thought provoking James Dean quote that shows us how important it is to be flexible in our daily undertakings.

Change is a Process of Transformation

So many times throughout our day we try and fight off circumstances, people and events. We do everything within our power to try and resist the changes that confront us, and yet we continue to struggle fighting against a powerful force that will simply not letup.

Do we ever stop to think about the actual process of change?

The world as we know it today will not be as we will know it tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. The people that we know today are not going to be the same people tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Nor will we be the same tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.

The simple fact of the matter is that change continues to evolve and expand on every level each second throughout our day.  Change is like the wind blowing a sail boat through the open ocean. To resist change is to fight against the inevitable and all powerful forces of life. On the other hand, to harness the power of change will take one on a path of unexpected transformation that can bring many blessings and the potential for abundant opportunities.

The Quickest Path Isn’t Always the Right or Best Path to Take

Most of us have a deep fixation in our minds that there is only one way, one path towards a desired destination. We are so fixed and locked upon this journey that we will rarely accept a different opinion or perspective. We know the path that we must take and we will do whatever it takes to reach that destination no matter what difficulties may lie in our way.

“Inflexibility has killed a great many people over the course of human history.”

The funny thing about life is that it presents us with a constant array of clues that are somewhat forced upon us when we least expect them. The great sailors of days gone by picked up on this very quickly. They knew that the wind blows and directs with a purpose. They realized that through the act of harnessing this powerful force that they could redirect themselves along paths that offered less resistance and greater potential for success. Yes, indeed for them these journeys might have taken longer, however life always has a means and a purpose for everything that it throws our way.

Learn from the Winds as they are our Teachers

Life has an interesting way of teaching us lessons that prepare us for the journey ahead. We all have goals, dreams and ambitions that we would like to one day successfully bring to physical reality. Yet from our very limited perspective we fail to realize or understand how unworthy and undeserving we actually are of these experiences.

Every goal, every dream, every deep intense purpose that we conjure up within the recesses of our minds is not so much a destination but rather a journey of experiences filled with lessons, hardships, and challenges that must be confronted and overcome in order to experience the pleasures of the destinations that we envision within our minds.

No man or woman EVER accomplished their goals, dreams or visions without first experiencing the hardships of the journey that led them to their final destination. When the winds came they understood that they had a choice. They could either resist and try to fight over the top of the winds of change, or they could harness the power of these winds and propel themselves forward towards their destination in potentially unforeseen ways. They realized that life is in a constant process of motion and change that adapts to our shifting thoughts, actions, emotions and goals. What we consciously think we want, may indeed not be what we unconsciously desire. Yet, the shifting wind knows and realizes these internal desires and progressively adjusts our course towards our true intentions.

Will this course bring about a smoother journey of experiences, or will it bring further hardships and lessons?

As our course changes, the winds become our teachers, they help us to understand what it will take to deserve to experience our dreams in physical reality. Without these experiences it would be impossible to accomplish what we seek. Ask the most successful people in the world if they would have become who they are today if not for those challenges, problems, or ill-fated circumstances that constantly stood in their way. They learned throughout this process that life will always throw you curve balls, and that unless we adjust, adapt and alter our course to match the changes that we are experiencing, we will suffer the consequences of ill-fated decisions that may leave us guilt ridden for the remainder of our lives.

We simply can’t change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails to reach our ultimate destination.

www.miwisdom.wordpress.com/
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pallavirajsinghani
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« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2009, 04:05:07 PM »

PDQuick:  My brain understands the wisdom behind these words...but  my heart hurts today and all the wisdom provides no respite.   Prayers offer no solace--am fighting with God--

But..I will go hug my children and take a dunk in my pool and put  a flower in my hair...and smile and smile and smile.
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Humanity is a stream my friend, and each of us individual drops.  How can you then distinguish one from the other?
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« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2009, 04:45:09 PM »

That's a good idea, and do something nice for someone. Sing, play music, let go, accept your feelings and go with them, don't resist them, and you will find the blues "off your back" and one day find yourself "done pretty good".
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DreamGirl
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« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2009, 05:05:18 PM »

Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this

I just need a compass and a willing accomplice

All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again

Up and down and round again, down and up and round again...


The opening lyrics to my favorite song right now...I hit repeat on the stereo and am thankful that at least P!nk understands.  There is the other side of this, I know it...

For me...I just need to stop fighting the winds so much and maybe fly a kite. That would make me happy.

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  "What I want is what I've not got, and what I need is all around me." ~Dave Matthews

Natasha Tomicic
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« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2009, 11:42:47 AM »

There is nothing quite so terrifying as flinging oneself into the winds of change...nor so rewarding.

...you don't know it till you DO it.

It's one helluva rush.

In the end...there was nothing to fear but fear itself.
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« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2009, 11:03:54 AM »

Hey Quick...

Nice post.

You know, each day I feel stronger and more aware of my surroundings and the

people in them. The challenge is not to become a hermetic person, closed off

to others in the world, but, having the ability to recognize the behaviors and

motives of others, weigh those against your own goals and feelings, find where

you intersect, and move forward either with someone or alone.

I have fought with being overly analytical of others and trying to find the

motives in everyone's behavior. I have had to remind myself that I am not

a trained professional, but, also remind myself that there are certain things

I will never compormise on again. If something's not right, it's not right and

not my job to fix it. I just wonder sometimes if this whole thing has made me

into a rigid, distant person who I wasn't before.

For instance: the "younger" woman I began dating drinks...a lot. One night

she drove the both of us home practically passing out at the wheel of her car

several times and driving way to fast and recklessly. She even refused to

pull over when I demanded that she let me drive. That was a threshold for

me, and, though I hated having the conversation, I had to stop seeing her.

So, are you supposed to work at these things? Are you supposed to let it slide

once or twice and coach a person to live by your expectations of maturity?

I hated hurting her feelings, but, I have boundaries now...I just wonder if

they're too rigid?

OTP
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elphaba
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« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2009, 11:15:05 AM »





Definately some great stuff here Paul...lots to make you think about the journey we are all on and allowing change however frightening that may be at times, without change we cease to grow and develop and what a sad thing that would be...



You must find your treasure in order to make sense of everything you discovered on the path. -Paulo Coelho -The Alchemist

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.  Paulo Coelho

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« Reply #7 on: March 27, 2009, 08:23:07 AM »

You must find your treasure in order to make sense of everything you discovered on the path. -Paulo Coelho -The Alchemist

This blows me away right now.

--J
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PDQuick
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« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2009, 08:29:05 AM »

There is alot of truth in that statement Jeffree. The past will never make as much sense in the present, than it will in the future. The future will never make any sense, until it has passed into the past.
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Natasha Tomicic
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« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2009, 03:23:08 AM »

The Present was the Future of the Past.

...make changes in the now and create a beautiful future...that is within the power of each of us. Walking in the eye of the typhoon...takes practice. Patience with oneself...the winds and the rain don't kill you...they are the entities of change.

it's the flying debris you have to duck away from...   
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« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2009, 07:15:25 AM »

Perhaps for many of us our treasures will be the person we are with AFTER our BPD. However, treasures can certainly be jobs, children, friends, pets, realizations, etc.

In my case, my treasure has confirmed for me all those things I have been told by so many people here and my friends and family in support of me in my hour of need. Ya, sure, I had begun to believe these wonderful things about myself on my own, but they have come to life through my relationship with my GF and her children.

It also helps that I knew her 28 years ago, so my past has come into the present.

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